As it turns out, all 358 emails were from NBC Dateline’s Keith Morrison who, like countless other television correspondents, is seeking an exclusive to The Door in our newsroom. It was actually Misty who made the realization that Morrison was behind all the emails when, while checking our general voicemail box, she heard the message: Just checking to see if you got all the eeeemails I sent. This is an anonymous call by the wayyyyy.
“Hey,” said Misty, “isn’t that the creepy guy from Dateline Mysteries?”
So as it stands, The Door remains safe from Morrison, as well as Barbara Walters, Geraldo Rivera, Morley Safer and Anderson Cooper, each of whom has taken a crack at getting the exclusive to what Diane Sawyer described as “An awe-inspiring body of journalism… which reminds me, where’s Chris Cuomo?”
For anyone who, for reasons that may be too embarrassing to admit, might be visiting for the first time, I should explain that The Door is home to a collection of newspaper clippings taped there by reporters at Siuslaw News since the 1970s. It is an ongoing effort to highlight the best and worst examples of print journalism from around Oregon while, simultaneously, insulating any sounds coming from people who use the commode on the other side.
Before we get to this week’s exhibit, we must join hands as always and, in a monotoned voice similar to anyone who thinks they may have been with Miley Cyrus without being tested, repeat the following words:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
This week’s entry is unique because you will, for the first time, not only see what our editor’s printing looks like, but also why her insight and feedback has elevated her to our news team’s most influential position. As the editor, she inspects each page before it is sent to press by carefully reading over them and, when necessary, using her mighty red pen to make changes or offer input gleaned from her years of experience. What follows is just one example of her astute observation regarding a headline…
See what I mean?
It’s okay if you just got goosebumps; I usually just put on a jacket while in her presence.
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(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble.)
Ned's Blog 
Great drophed, don’t you think? It adds so much depth and clarity, Ned. A one-column hed shot of Smokey The Bear (with the The please) cowering would also break up the gray.
Pack your stuff, Mark; we need you here.
I’ll start my cross-country journey as soon as I fill my backpack with matches and forest camping gear, Ned. Thanks. 🙂
If you stop off in Florence, I promise I won’t make you camp in the yard.
Thank you for your hospitality, Ned. And I don’t smoke. 🙂
Perfect. I’ll throw on an extra steak for you.
Trees are scary, btw…and just looking at your door gives me goosebumps. 🙂
I always think of this SNL sketch. So funny.
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Hahaha! Me Too! Bill Hader is one of my absolute favorites, and his Keith Morrison impression is hilarious. Thanks for sharing the link!
My pleasure. Now I won’t be able to get his voice out of my head today. “AaaaaAAAaaaaaaah!!!”
Lol! If you’ve never seen BillHadre’s impression of Vincent Price, it’s worth a Google 😉
The fact that I repeat “The Door is a beacon….” in a monotone voice every time you post one of these is beginning to cause alarm in my brain.
Last night I had a dream about the door. It was very mysteriously beckoning me inside. 😉
Wow! Just make sure you knock first!
I agree; trees are scary. Anyone who’s read Prince Caspian, or the Last March of the Ents in the Lord of the Rings, or the Order of the Stick webcomic, would know that. (I’m a nerd; I know this.)
Not a nerd at all. But you must really go all out for Arbor Day.
Scary trees.
You had me at “for anyone who thinks they may have been with Miley Cyrus without being tested” what a wonderful read of humor and brilliance.
Thank you so much, Souldiergirl 😉
and paper comes from trees. i’m just saying…..
The plot thickens. Or the sap. Or whatever…
Were it my door, I suspect Ms Sawyer could come up with an, ahem, creative enticement to weaken my resolve against sharing. I mean, what good is leverage if one doesn’t make productive use out of it?
That’s a different kind of Date Line.
Methinks your editor was with Cyrus Miley and should be tested.
There might even be a love child. Or a chimp that twerks.
That would be bonzo.
There might even be a love child. Or a chimp.
Now every time I use my own washroom…I can’t enter until I say “The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.” Problem is that’s time consuming and it could be to late. Also I can’t find any journalism on my bathroom door. I’m so confused..
Well, I’ve seen plenty of journalism that belongs where you’re heading, so your instincts are correct…
I guess there’s that! lol