Keith Morrison, Barbara Walters and others continue to seek… The Door

The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) is both sentinel of sacred journalistic history, and protector of commode users.
The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) is both sentinel of sacred journalistic history, and protector of commode users.
Since last week’s posting of The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance), I have received hundreds of emails from concerned readers asking if we followed up on the tip about a potential murderer staying at a local hotel, which was brought in by a woman who said she heard “murdering noises” from the room above her โ€” and as our office girl Misty noted: “I think she was hearing them again while standing in our office lobby.”

As it turns out, all 358 emails were from NBC Dateline’s Keith Morrison who, like countless other television correspondents, is seeking an exclusive to The Door in our newsroom. It was actually Misty who made the realization that Morrison was behind all the emails when, while checking our general voicemail box, she heard the message: Just checking to see if you got all the eeeemails I sent. This is an anonymous call by the wayyyyy.

“Hey,” said Misty, “isn’t that the creepy guy from Dateline Mysteries?”

So as it stands, The Door remains safe from Morrison, as well as Barbara Walters, Geraldo Rivera, Morley Safer and Anderson Cooper, each of whom has taken a crack at getting the exclusive to what Diane Sawyer described as “An awe-inspiring body of journalism… which reminds me, where’s Chris Cuomo?”

For anyone who, for reasons that may be too embarrassing to admit, might be visiting for the first time, I should explain that The Door is home to a collection of newspaper clippings taped there by reporters at Siuslaw News since the 1970s. It is an ongoing effort to highlight the best and worst examples of print journalism from around Oregon while, simultaneously, insulating any sounds coming from people who use the commode on the other side.

Before we get to this week’s exhibit, we must join hands as always and, in a monotoned voice similar to anyone who thinks they may have been with Miley Cyrus without being tested, repeat the following words:

The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.

This week’s entry is unique because you will, for the first time, not only see what our editor’s printing looks like, but also why her insight and feedback has elevated her to our news team’s most influential position. As the editor, she inspects each page before it is sent to press by carefully reading over them and, when necessary, using her mighty red pen to make changes or offer input gleaned from her years of experience. What follows is just one example of her astute observation regarding a headline…


See what I mean?

It’s okay if you just got goosebumps; I usually just put on a jacket while in her presence.



(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. His first book, Humor at the Speed of Life, is available from Port Hole Publications, or Barnes & Noble.)

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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writerโ€™s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

29 thoughts on “Keith Morrison, Barbara Walters and others continue to seek… The Door”

  1. Great drophed, don’t you think? It adds so much depth and clarity, Ned. A one-column hed shot of Smokey The Bear (with the The please) cowering would also break up the gray.

  2. I agree; trees are scary. Anyone who’s read Prince Caspian, or the Last March of the Ents in the Lord of the Rings, or the Order of the Stick webcomic, would know that. (I’m a nerd; I know this.)

  3. Were it my door, I suspect Ms Sawyer could come up with an, ahem, creative enticement to weaken my resolve against sharing. I mean, what good is leverage if one doesn’t make productive use out of it?

  4. Now every time I use my own washroom…I can’t enter until I say “The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.” Problem is that’s time consuming and it could be to late. Also I can’t find any journalism on my bathroom door. I’m so confused..

No one is watching, I swear...

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