The lights went down, the curtains parted and theater-goers at City Lights Cinemas who had come to witness the premiere of Terminator: Genisys were also the first to witness me in a red thong.
I should clarify that this was for the big-screen premiere of a 6-minute spoof, Terminator: Nedisys.
As you might expect, the consensus from audience members was very positive…
“I laughed. I cried. I called my lawyer.”
“TWO THUMBS UP! But I’d rather not say where.”
“Any chance a Terminator will travel through time to make sure this movie never happened?”
“I really wish I’d held off on getting those corrective lenses.”
In all seriousness, what you see of me in a thong is extremely small. I mean, when compared to the film’s overall length. *sigh* I’m just saying don’t let my being in a thong scare you off, because it’s very tiny.
The scene, not…
Anyway, our friends over at Long Awkward Pause have posted what you might call the “Special Edition Boxed Set” version of Terminator: Nedisys, which includes the first promo clip, the “Nedinator in 30 seconds” version, the full-length feature AND a special making-of look at special effects on a $12.98 budget.
Be among the first to see all four and we’ll send you this special collector’s edition container of fried rice!
What are you waiting for? Your boss won’t mind! And once he sees my red thong, he’ll never ask you to work overtime again… See you over at Long Awkward Pause!
Or watch them on the “big screen” at home by YouTubing me! (Wait… that sounds wrong)
(Ned Hickson is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. Still looking for that perfect book for summer reading? Ned’s first book, Humor at the Speed of Life,available from Port Hole Publications, Amazon.com or Barnes & Noble. Disclaimer: Even if you buy Ned’s book for summer reading, you should still use sunscreen.)
39 thoughts on “Big screen premiere of ‘The Nedinator’ blamed for drop in thong sales”
LOLOLOLOL As usual you are cracking me up! No pun intended towards thongs.
Lol! Me in a thong is a crack at my expense anyway…
Stop! My stomach hurts from laughing so hard.
That’s a common reaction when I wear a thong.
you ‘crack’ me up.
Finally, I have a legitimate excuse to hijack Mortal Kombatapalooza…
Hey! Turn that off! Mommy needs you to find something for her on YouTube… 😉
Hahaha! We took our kids (3 teens) to see “Terminator: Genisys” last night and didn’t tell them this was going to be shown first. I’m pretty sure our daughter is going to runaway now…
That. Is awesome. I have parenting-win envy. Gonna have to step up my game….
Let me know if you want to make a video…
I must be very photogenic ’cause that’s what the guy at the Kwik-e-Mart keeps saying….
I’m pretty sure he’s not thinking about him being the one in the thong…
Dammit! Knew there was a catch…
I want to co-star in the sequel. We can open with me doing pull ups off a prison cot…
Oh my gosh, your kids must’ve died! LOL! That’s hilarious.
“One small step for Parenhood…”
marketing suggestion: special collector’s edition container with thong enclosed! 🙂
I’m thinking the set should be wrapped IN the thong…
The Nedinator -I’m speechless.
Too funny that your teens were surprised – love getting even with them occasionally. Well done! (video and teen revenge)
Thanks, Paul! A rare parental victory… 😉
This is going viral. No wait, that’s just me feeling nauseous.
Don’t worry, an anti-biotic is phase two of the campaign. Or hemorrhoid cream.
Absolutely made my day! Still sniggling to myself. I have to admit I didn’t notice the thong at first, but I would think men everywhere will be clamoring to the nearest VS for one! I especially love the wifebeater outlined sunburn. May I request your next film be a tribute to Pornstashe?
Thanks so much, and I especially want to thank you for adding “sniggling” to my vocabulary!
In the meantime, I’ll get to work on my pornstache film 😉
No wonder my order kept returning to me with the words “out of stock”
This whole series has put a huge smile on my face and been solely responsible for a permanent belly ache induced by true laughing out loud!.
Heading over to LAW – maybe they can help me out with my backordered, er, items.
I think I’ve earned my rice. I’ve seem them all. Where’s my rice?
I blame it on Canada’s postal service. Very slow. Cooked…
Ha! But do I still get my rice?
I sent it with a money-back-guarantee it would be delivered in a timeliness considered the standard by most third-world countries. So I’m sure it’ll be there any day now…
Pft. Do you have my address? 😉
I just sent it :
That should do it, right?
Well I guess we’ll find out but..If I don’t get my rice I’m going to have to come for it!
It’s wild rice, so you’ll have to catch it 😉
That sounds a bit like exercise. Does it have bacon in it? I might exercise for that..
Lol! I think wild bacon is called a boar…?
Can I choose that over rice?
Once you catch it you can put it over anything you want 😉
Sounds good to me.