I’m not exactly sure when “sexy” happened

imageI’ve seen a lot of strange things on Facebook;

Cats doing chin-ups.

A naked guy playing flaming bagpipes while riding a unicycle.

Kanye West.

But a few days ago, as I was scrolling through my Facebook notifications, I was tagged in a post with 35 others who had been listed as “The Neighborhood’s Sexiest Men.” I stared at it for a moment then, naturally, decided to restart my iPad.

Something was clearly wrong, like that time Rick Astley’s “Never Gonna Give You Up” started playing on my laptop and wouldn’t stop until the battery ran out.

I wasn’t about to re-live that nightmare again.

That’s when my wife came in and pointed to the same link, which she shared to her Facebook page with the comment, “Yep. That’s my HUSBAND!” 




The truth is, I’ve never thought of myself as sexy. I was the skinny nerd in school. Had braces. Was physically capable but not particularly athletic. Didn’t go on my first date until I was almost 20. Was embarrassed about having an enormous [censored]…

Haha! Just kidding! I actually went on my first date when I was 18. *cough cough*

Anyway, it got me thinking about the qualities that others might find sexy about me. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized whatever those qualities are, they come as a direct result of the love I share with my wife. That’s because, in my mind, what makes a person “sexy” isn’t as much about looking good as it is about being good at who you are. And without question, my wife’s love, support and encouragement to be myself — as a humorist, husband, father, firefighter — have given me the freedom and inspiration to pursue the things that define me and, ultimately, my best self.

Though an attractive person catches the eye, confidence and realness is the kind of “sexy” that catches the heart and the imagination.

For example, imagining me naked is better than seeing it in real life.

Whatever the reasons for being included on this list, I’m very flattered. But even more so, I’m thankful for the kind of love that makes me “sexy” in the first place.

That being said, here’s an example of the kind of sexiness my wife has come to expect from me…





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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

63 thoughts on “I’m not exactly sure when “sexy” happened”

  1. A man who truly loves his wife immediately becomes the sexiest man alive to every other woman. You must have women throwing themselves at you all the time. Be strong, Ned.

  2. Ahh, congratulations! What a charming tribute to your wife, too. Sexy you are, and I think you are right, it has a lot to do with confidence, and a sense of humor, don’t forget the sense of humor!

    We’re always trying to be sexy before we fall in love. Our culture does it all backwards. Fall in love, get married, and then get sexy. Get so sexy, those single college kids are jealous. 🙂

    1. I think you’re right about doing it backwards. Wait, I don’t man actually “doing it” backwards. I’m pretty sure that’s a physical impossibility. Unless it was two contortionists… sorry, I honestly can’t remember where I was going with this…

      But thanks 😉

  3. Bwahahaha! I laughed out loud at the video. Ha! Too funny Ned.

    If “imagining me naked is better than seeing it in real life.” is true,then shouldn’t it follow that imagining you with a thong would be better than seeing you with a thong? Do you intend to follow that in the future? And why did you go so badly astray last year? ha!

  4. It happened when they saw Robert Downey Jr in something and thought it was you. And then said, holy crap that’s that funny fireman blog dude. But it wasn’t. It was Robert Downey Jr. Then wheels started turning. Voilà.

  5. Do you know what else makes you sexy? Humility. You have it in piles, Ned.
    Any man who can take an instance where it would be perfectly acceptable to enjoy the individual accolades and make it about another special person is a sexy man in my book.
    So hot 😉

  6. I think our definition of sexy changes as we get older. Although my husband was and always will be sexy to me (something about his silky hair and his enormous, uh, shoes). I agree with the others’ assessment that it has very much to do with a man valuing his woman and making everyone else know it. Very sexy indeed.

  7. Sorry, I’m not sure if you’re sexy or not. I would ask my wife, but I’m worried about that shocking video you put up on your page. If she sees the last ten seconds or so, I’ll be done for. 😦

  8. i totally would have voted for you, ned. if i could only get my man to vacuum like that . . .
    wow – i think i need a shower now.

  9. “Though an attractive person catches the eye, confidence and realness is the kind of “sexy” that catches the heart and the imagination.” <- Oh so very true! I was just having this very conversation. Well, not exactly just. It was like a month ago, but still. We were talking about how there's GQ cover sexy and Volunteer-of-the-Year sexy, and how one fades (GQ) and the other gets better and better (VotY). When someone is a good person, their attractiveness increases in spades.

      1. You’re more than just the guru of fruitcake, the master of thong sand sledding. You say a lot of insightful things.

No one is watching, I swear...

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