I promise this is the last time I’m going to be ‘sexy’



Being chosen among 100 men to participate in The Public Blogger’s “Who Is the Sexiest Number” competition was hard enough for me to understand. The fact that it has come down to Thomas Lemke and myself during tonight’s finals round is even harder to fathom.

Not the Thomas part.

He’s definitely sexy.

In fact, if I wasn’t a ridiculously happily married heterosexual, I’d be all over that guy.

But me? A humorist nearing 50 who has already traumatized most of his readership after wearing a red thong? Then again, considering what is happening with this year’s presidential elections, it just goes to show anything can happen. 

Last week, Thomas and I were issued our final challenge: Create a two-minute video explaining what we think defines “sexy,” particularly in the eyes of others. For most of this competition I have used humor because it’s who I am. However, it’s also a way of dealing with my own discomfort. Bottom line is that I have a hard time thinking of myself as sexy. Talking about it in relation to myself is even harder. I was the gawky, nerdy kid in school who was perfectly happy surrounded by equally gawky, nerdy friends. I’m still that guy in a way, only now I have 30 years of life experience and confidence — and knowing who I am — to go with it.

So when it came to creating my submission for tonight’s final round, I gave the question a lot of thought. I tried to avoid my instinctive need to shy away from the question with humor. Instead, I did my best to explain what I see as “sexy,” and what I hope are qualities I somehow define through the choices I make and the life I live.

I’ll leave it up to you to decide if I got it right.

My presentation, along with Thomas’s, went live at 6 p.m. (PST). Voting continue until 7 a.m. tomorrow (June 6).

Regardless of how you vote, thank you for all of the encouragement these past few weeks. As I mentioned, the subject matter was uncomfortable; your support helped me find my own way of approaching it.

To watch the finals round and vote for “Who Is the Sexiest Number,” click on the icon below! (I promise that I am not wearing a red thong at any point in my video…) or right HERE (if you don’t like icons).




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Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

38 thoughts on “I promise this is the last time I’m going to be ‘sexy’”

  1. Done – #8 RULES!

    I gotta tell you Ned, your video production quality has increased exponentially – very professional.

    1. Thanks so much, Paul! I made a few films in high school, so that definitely helps. More than anything, though, I’m having a lot of fun with it.

  2. I must admit that other guy is pretty sexy; however, I just closed my eyes and clicked the button for you. I’m too old to worry about men being sexy anymore. Yer welcome.

  3. My apologies for missing the voting deadline. My excuse is that I’m on vacation and took my watch off, so I don’t know the time, day, or date. Plus, a tropical storm is bearing down and we’re busy battening down the hatches. Regardless of the outcome, you’ve got Alicia, so you already won. Which you already know.

    1. No worries, Susan. And enjoy that time “off the grid,” which is getting hard to do. I stopped wearing a watch 16 years ago when I left the restaurant business, which is constantly about time…Time… TIME! Enjoy that and keep the hatches battened 😉

      And you’d so right — I feel like a winner every day already. This kind of stuff is just icing 😉

  4. Grr, I was too late seeing this post to vote. But I just watched the video, and despite you putting bacon right up there with the important things like family and community (LOL) , it was a beautiful video. I have all faith you’ve won? 🙂

  5. Ned! You WON!!!! Awesome!! **Insert fireworks, marching bands, public speeches, kissing babies – oh wait, that’s for President –what do you mean the last poll showed Ned as a write in beating Hillary and Trump 5 to 1? Wow – and I thought sexiest blogger was impressive – Whew!**

  6. Congratulations Sexy! Happy you won! Loved your video… and you are so right! Especially when it comes to a female perspective. Sexy is SO much more than physical looks or charm. It is about how a person lives their life, how they treat other humans AND how they treat animals!
    “I remember reading somewhere that men learn to love the person that they’re attracted to, and that women become more and more attracted to the person that they love.” That is a quote from Sex, Lies and Videotape… James Spader 🙂 But it is so true!

    1. I must’ve been living with my wife in my mind for years before I met here, then 😉

      And thanks, Courtney 😉 I did win and will post about it tomorrow morning. Thanks for all the support!

      1. LOL! Quite possible… you knew exactly what you wanted in a partner. And it sounds like that is exactly what you got!! 😉
        I followed the results to the Facebook and it said you had won! 😀 I hope I didn’t let any cats out of da bag… ;-/
        Congrats again!!!

      1. See what Alicia did there? I think I’ll get her to invest in the stock market for me. Before anyone else even thought about it, she saw the sexy diamond in the rough and scooped him up. Then she cut and polished and put him in the perfect setting and now he is the sexiest man on the planet and her investment has paid off. She’ll share in the millions of dollars of prize money and product endorsements.

No one is watching, I swear...

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