It’s been two years since I wore a thong; here’s why

imageWe all have skeletons in our closet. Mine just happens to be wearing a red thong.

Two years ago this Friday, hundreds of people tragically lost their eyesight as a result seeing me in a red thong for my role in “The Nedinator,” a 6-minute movie spoof that premiered in our local theater the same night as “The Terminator: Genysis.”

The movie was heralded by critics as “Ned’s best 6-minute performance.”

And my wife agrees.

For anyone who started following this blog since then, or who has wondered why there are so many references in the comments section about my red thong, rest assured you haven’t stumbled into a hive a kinky people. This is where it started. And, thanks to a court order siting “codes of human decency,” also where it ended.

The story behind the mini-movie is a long one, and is just as drama-filled as any Hollywood production — except with less silicone, money, sex, tantrums, Perrier, etc.

So, to celebrate the one-year anniversary…

Actually, “celebrate” might be a bit strong. How about “commemorate?” Like when there’s a tragedy? 

To commemorate the two-year anniversary of The Nedinator, and those who are still receiving therapy (I know who you are because I’m still getting billed), I have re-released this special “Boxed Set” edition, complete with special features like “The Making Of The Special Effect,” some of the merchandise it inspired (although never actually available), movie trailers, stills, a special bonus feature and, of course, the movie itself.

I contemplated the idea of re-doing it to improve certain parts, but then I remembered how I felt when George Lucas changed the first three Star Wars movies. I wasn’t ready for that kind of backlash, especially from any normally docile Canadians.

With that said, open this special boxed set edition of The Nedinator and experience it as it was meant to be experienced! (In the safety of your own home and out of the view of any small children…)

BONUS FEATURE NO. 1

The official movie teaser! (Because I’m such a tease…)

BONUS FEATURE No. 2

Behind-the-Scenes look at the AMAZING special effect!! (yes, we just had one)…

FEATURE FILM: The Terminator: Nedisys

MOVIE STILLS (Because these are better than the some of the actual action)

I’d like to point out that most of the main extras in this movie are my fellow firefighters from Station 2, including the “Biker Guy” (Ted Martin), “Scooter Guy” (Capt. Pete “Boa” Warren) and the “Delivery Van Guy” (Sean Connor — Yeah, his real name).

Ted

Ted “The Biker Guy” Martin had a tough time keeping a straight face while talking to me in a thong. Especially when I did stretches before each take…

The bike I was getting on actually belonged to the guy with the gun, who also happens to be our captain at Station 2, Pete

The bike I was getting on actually belonged to the guy with the gun, who also happens to be our captain at Station 2, Pete “Boa” Warren. He also owns the scooter we ride away on. He said I held him a little too tightly…

There were some actual bikers at the bar we filmed at. They bought us beer. But only after I put my clothes on.

There were some actual bikers at the bar we filmed at. They bought us beer. But only after I put my clothes on.

The first thing we shot was this scene at Laurel Bay Gardens, starting at 6:30 a.m. My

The first thing we shot was this scene at Laurel Bay Gardens, starting at 6:30 a.m. My “Terminator” walk was just how I walk when I’m not awake yet…

MERCHANDISE: (You can’t actually buy)

Because nothing says

Because nothing says “Terminator” like Chinese takeout.

I tried to get this in red, to match the thong...

I tried to get this in red, to match the thong…

EXTRA BONUS!!!

Have you ever sat through a movie and thought, “GEEZ! This movie is entirely too long!” For those who felt that way about our 6-minute movie, here’s the 30-second condensed version!

(Above are theater manager [from left] Mister Oolala [his legal name] and theater owner Michael Falter. They were great sports who delivered compelling performances that the Academy somehow overlooked. But I’m not saying it was a racial thing…)

It’s hard to believe it’s been two years since I donned the red thong for the sake of art. It’s also hard to believe I’m STILL finding sand in some of my crevices. My thanks to everyone who helped bring this craziness to life and shared willingly in this experience. My thanks also to those who unwittingly found themselves sitting in the theater the night it premiered at City Lights Cinemas on the big screen. Doctors say the nightmares will eventually subside with more treatment.

And my thanks to all of you for supporting the craziness on this blog, which I’m proud to say was named among the top 100 funniest blog’s by Feedspot Blog Reader, along with The Onion, Dave Barry, The Chive and… well… 96  other great blogs.

My sincere appreciation for sharing the laughs.

— Ned

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27 thoughts on “It’s been two years since I wore a thong; here’s why

  1. Clicked expecting an explanation of why you haven’t been wearing the red thong for two years… I’m disappointed, Ned. You donned that thing for the greater good.* That responsibility didn’t end with one video… actually, I don’t need more video, and you can keep the photos for yourself, but surely you’ve found other reasons to wear it?

    * Comedy.

  2. Lolllllllllllllllll so glad to see the Nedinator series back. And thanks for reminding me, it was about 2 years ago my vision became a bit more wonky. Now I better go for another eye check. So funny! Love the thong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 🙂 Oh and congrats top 100 funniest blogs indeed!

  3. Pingback: 10 Blogs You Should Follow - Crystal Eve

    • Hey Courtney! Without question, I’ve been feeling more than a little guilty about practically abandoning my blog since becoming editor. I’m going to post something about that soon. Let me just say that in the current climate of things, I’be felt obligated as editor to turn my attention to my home town and trying to create conversations and offer coverage on things that I hope helps my community find its way together through this mess. More later, and thanks so much for your kind word and continued support 😉

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