Tag: media

It’s time once again to visit … The Door

image It’s Tuesday! That special day each week when we gather together and gaze upon The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance), marveling at newspaper clippings that journalists here at the Siuslaw News have been taping to The Door since the 1970s. Which brings me to a new feature I am contemplating called The Fridge, in which we marvel at food products in our break room refrigerator left by those same journalists 40 years ago.

However, today is an especially exciting edition of The Door because TODAY we are adding something! That’s right — You will be among the first to see the latest addition to this journalistic shrine. As always, before we begin, we must repeat those sacred words that have been a part of The Door’s historic ritual since I first made them up a few months ago. So please join hands and, in a monotone voice similar to any character played by Keanu Reeves, repeat these words after me:

The Door is our beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism. Continue reading It’s time once again to visit … The Door

Your publishing contract: What language is this?

(It’s Friday, and you know what that means… That’s right! Look in your car’s ash tray, or in the laundry drum of your washer, for some extra change because it’s time for this week’s edition of Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing. Can’t find any change? No problem! We’re on the honor system here at NWOW; we trust you’ll send that nickel, and you trust that the advice you receive will be worth the gum ball you gave up. As most of you know, these are my re-posts from Gliterary Girl, a book review and writing website where I’m a weekly contributor. I am also the only male. Is my masculinity threatened by this? Ha! Ha! Of course not! Only my wife can do that…)

image So this is one of those rare posts that comes in two parts. And if you’re an astute observer, such as myself, you are beginning to realize that, yes:

This is part two.

This next sentence includes a link to Part One right here, which is my own attempt at a Hulu-like service to readers, with the added benefit of no commercials or irritating ads.

Go ahead. I’ll wait for you while eating this delicious new Chicken Wrap from a participating McDonald’s… Continue reading Your publishing contract: What language is this?

The Door: It’s a two-for Tuesday!

image Don’t bother giving your coffee an extra stir, or rubbing your eyes in disbelief, because you read it right! After missing last Tuesday’s posting of The Door due to a myriad of excuses I felt it only right that I make up for it by offering not one but TWO… Two…two (that’s an echo) items from The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) here at the Siuslaw News.

For those of you knocking on The Door for the first time…

Go Away!

Haha! Just kidding! The more the merrier! In fact, “the more the merrier” is what the fire marshal has deemed to be the maximum occupancy level, depending on whether anyone in the group has eaten lunch at the Enfermo Taco.

Before we begin, as always, we must join hands and repeat the following mantra in a slow, monotoned voice:

The Door serves as a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.

OK, come with me now as we go back in time through The Door, where journalists here at the Siuslaw News have been taping and gluing their favorite newspaper faux pas since the 1970s. Continue reading The Door: It’s a two-for Tuesday!

Your publishing contract; time to learn a foreign language

In these times of economic instability, isn’t it great knowing each Friday, no matter what the NASDAQ is doing or how much your stock in Nike’s new Cat Sweater Division has taken a dump, that Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing is still only 5 cents?! How do I continue to keep the price so low? Simple! I guest blog on the literary website Gliterary Girl each week, without their knowledge, and pass the savings on to YOU! So until Sara O’Connor finds out, or someone realizes I’m the only male blogger on an all-women website, I’ll continue to offer my nickel’s worth of advice at this bargain price. Payment can be made by fax, email or strapped to the leg of Hedwig…

Foreign language shirtI literally just returned from my first sit-down meeting with the publishing company that wants to publish my book, Humor at the Speed of Life; a Brief Look at Bruce Jenner’s Anatomy.

OK, fine. Leave off the part about Bruce Jenner and you have the real title.

As I’ve mentioned before, after 15 years as a syndicated columnist, this is my first venture into book publishing. I am now sitting here with a cup of coffee and the contract, which I haven’t signed yet, looking at words in all-caps, such as “AUTHOR,” “GUARANTEE” and “WARRANTS.”

In my experience, the word “warrant” has never led to anything good. Continue reading Your publishing contract; time to learn a foreign language

This week on… The Door

Our actual door It’s Tuesday, which as we all know is like the 23rd birthday of the calendar week. Not particularly significant. It doesn’t have the distinction of being the dreaded beginning of the work week, or the catchy nickname of “Hump Day” to endear it, and no one ever exclaims: “Thank God it’s Tuesday!” For this reason, I chose to perk up Tuesdays by making it the day we highlight The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance), a piece of journalistic history here at the Siuslaw News that has had greatness thrust upon it. And while it’s rumored that other things have been thrust upon it over the years, we will be focusing on the multitude of newspaper headlines and clippings posted there by journalists since as far back as the 1970s. For loyal followers of The Door, let us repeat it’s mission statement (For added effect, say it slowly in a monotone voice):

To serve as a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism. Continue reading This week on… The Door

Do you feel a draft? It’s time to revise your manuscript

Do you feel a draft? Whether writing a 500-word column or 400-paged manuscript, there comes that satisfying moment when you hit the final keystroke. The sound echoes, in slow motion, reverberating through your body and outward, catching anyone within a three-mile radius in its ripple effect.

Outside your window, traffic comes to a stop. Drivers and pedestrians join together, taking time from their day to cheer, applauding so loud and hard their hands turn pink.

And wait — is that a tear I see glistening in the eye of the Fed-Ex driver?

It’s embarrassing, really.

But who can blame them? Continue reading Do you feel a draft? It’s time to revise your manuscript

Striking matadors could result in a lot of bull for Spain

Matador bull Though the story hasn’t received much coverage here in the U.S., Spain’s impending matador strike is big news in Madrid.

Especially if you’re a bull.

Even though no new cases of “Mad Cow” have been documented in fighting bulls — which seems odd, since the whole idea is to get them mad in the first place — Spain’s agricultural ministry insists that an eventual cross-over from cows to bulls to matadors is entirely possible. While some are calling matadors “cowards” for threatening to strike if testing for Mad Cow disease isn’t implemented by the start of bullfighting season in July, others applaud the stance, particularly those within the bovine community, many of whom have started wearing tennis balls on the tips of their horns as a show of support. Continue reading Striking matadors could result in a lot of bull for Spain

It’s time once again for… The Door

Our actual door copy Welcome to this week’s posting of The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance), which is brought to you live from our own newsroom door here at the Siuslaw News each Tuesday morning. We’d bring it to you Mondays except that Joe, or delivery guy, stinks up the bathroom, which is located on the other side of The Door, making the newsroom uninhabitable for most of Monday mornings. So we’ll stick with Tuesdays until Joe either retires or changes his diet.

For those of you just tuning in, it’s about TIME you got here! This is when we highlight some of the most shameful or brilliant newspaper headlines journalists here have been clipping and taping to the newsroom door since the early 1970s, back when laptops were solely for the purpose of giving wives or girlfriends a place to sit. Before we begin, we will repeat the mission statement of The Door:

“To serve as a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism”

Again, no one has actually ever said this, but we journalists know that adding quote marks makes it truth. Continue reading It’s time once again for… The Door

It’s time once again for… The Door

Yes, this is our actual newsroom door.
Yes, this is our actual newsroom door.
Welcome to another exciting edition of The Door, where we highlight newspaper clippings that have been taped to our newsroom door by reporters since the time of Star Wars B.C. (early 1970s). Over the decades, these clippings have continued to inspire, “serving as a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.”

No one actually said that; I just felt quote marks added more drama.

Anyway, today’s clipping comes all the way from Sept. 14, 1988, when then Oregon Attorney General Dave Frohnmayer was beginning his own war on drugs. Dave got a lot of press in those days, as this article in the Register-Guard can attest. It also attests to the importance of word placement in a headline, especially when using things like colons — which Activia yogurt eater Jamie Lee Curtis can tell you. But that’s another story. This morning, we’re talking about a poorly written headline that made it appear as though Oregon’s leader of the war on drugs was dipping into his own stash. Continue reading It’s time once again for… The Door

On our newsroom door…

Our actual door Our newsroom has a door. But that’s not the point of this post. Over the years, this door has become more than just a way in or out, or something that occasionally gets “stuck” with our editor on the other side. It has also become a Mecca of sorts. A place where journalists since the 1970s have taped, glued and pasted headlines that are either badly written, clever or misspelled.

It is a beacon, really, harkening us into the jagged rocks.

Since I can’t afford to fly all of you here to see it, and because there are still many of you who did not receive the Mexican mocha I sent after my 100th post, I have nixed the idea of detaching the door and sending it to each of you to see for yourselves. Therefore, starting today, I’ll be coming to your homes or places of employment to show you my Door of Shame, Blame and Brilliance favorites. It will be just like having me standing there with my door. Except, you know — I’ll be doing it from here. Continue reading On our newsroom door…