But seriously, folks…Thank you

image Some time between Friday night and Saturday morning, it happened. And let me just say the last time something this exciting happened while I was asleep, I was 11 years old.

In both cases, we’re talking about a personal milestone; although in this case I didn’t have a talk from my Dad the next morning about my reproductive system. No, this milestone is particularly important because it has come as a result of sharing it with you — which was another talk my Dad had with me, but again doesn’t apply here.

Last night, blogger Jim O’Sullivan at GingerFightBack, which is an extremely important blog dedicated to the plight of redheads, i.e. “gingers,” officially became my 1,000th follower. This, as you can imagine, comes with many fringe benefits, such as entry into the WordPress executive lounge at any Greyhound bus station, membership in the Prolific Speller Club, and a free iTunes download of the John Denver classic “Follow Me.” Continue reading

Laughing at cows can be harmful, especially while playing bingo

Cow Patty bingo As you probably know, national “Be Kind to Animals Week” is almost here. And just when Florida was beginning to re-gain a small measure of respectability by working hard to draw absolutely no attention to itself, it is once again in the national spotlight.

I’m talking, of course, about the controversy surrounding Cow-Patty Bingo.

For those who might not be familiar with this activity for reasons of sanity, we’ll just take a moment to cover the basics.

First, you need a cow.

Second, you need a REALLY BIG bingo card.

OK, not really. But you really do need a cow, preferably one that has just eaten a lot of fiber — like, say, a 55-gallon drum of granola. Next, you need a large field or yard (such as a neighbor’s) that can be divided into numbered grids. Once you have the cow and the grid, it’s time to start selling squares. This requires finding people who think that poop is entertaining. If you know anyone who watched Jersey Shore, that would probably be a good place to start. Continue reading

Grammy, Shmammy — LL Cool J’s got nothing on this cracker

versatileblogger111 Blog of the Year Award 1 star jpeg vinspiringblog You know how some days you wake up and, while half asleep, you head to the bathroom — but not before putting both feet in the same pant leg? And then after laying face down on the carpet for a few minutes, you realize your naked rear is sticking straight up because your feet are bound together like a rodeo calf? And in the moment is when the door opens and it’s your 18-year-old daughter, who begins screaming and scratching at her eyes because of what she’s witnessed?

OK, maybe it’s just me then.

Well, today didn’t start like that for me. Today was actually a morning of extremely pleasant momentum, which, in our house, usually means an empty bathroom (rare in a house with three teenagers) and a perfectly timed BM. In this case, however, it was pleasant momentum spurred by kudos from my fellow bloggers. After returning to the keyboard following two days of what CSI: Las Vegas would term “explosive flu blowback” [Insert rapid sequence through nasal passages here], I had a chance to go through my “Likes” and “Comments,” which led to a very humbling series of nods from fellow bloggers whose work I admire. Continue reading