Tag: writing

That time Barbara Walters couldn’t get a handle on our newsroom door

The Door, sentinel of journalistic history since the 1970s; preserver of privacy to the restroom.
The Door, sentinel of journalistic history since the 1970s; preserver of privacy to the restroom.
For the time being, it seems major news outlets like ABC, CBS, NBC and The 700 Club have backed off in their pursuit of an exclusive on The Door (of Shame Blame and Brilliance) here in our newsroom. It’s been more than a week since Barbara Walters has called and threatened to “DESTWOY your CAWEERS!” And thanks to a case of hemorrhoids, Morley Safer has stopped faxing us images of his rear, which were starting to resemble a topographical map of civil war battle sites.

We’ve also heard nothing from Anderson Cooper, who seemed to lose interest in what he called “Possibly the most important piece of journalistic history since Chris Cuomo” once he discovered the other side of The Door had a commode instead of a closet.

So let us continue on as we do each Tuesday, and highlight an example of journalistic shame, blame or brilliance from The Door, which reporters have been contributing to for nearly 40 years in an effort to preserve history and, thanks to four decades of glue and tape, keep The Door from collapsing in on itself. Continue reading That time Barbara Walters couldn’t get a handle on our newsroom door

Thanks to Alan King, this week’s Nickel’s Worth is on me… literally

Alan W. King (photo by Marlene Hawthorne Thomas)
Alan W. King (photo by Marlene Hawthorne Thomas)

For regular readers of this blog, I know what you’re thinking:
“I’ve seen pictures of Ned before, and I remember him being… older. And slightly more Caucasian.”

That’s because it’s a photo of Alan W. King, whose work as a journalist and blogger is best described as continued excellence. I’ve been a follower of his for a while, so when he began an interview series last year called “Writers and Their Process,” I was thrilled when he asked me to be a part of it.

Okay, fine — I screamed like a 13-year-old girl who finds herself on an elevator with [please insert latest teen girl heart throb here.]

All kidding aside, it was a real honor to be a part of this series last February, which delves into the thought process of each writer and offers insights into how they approach their craft. In my case, he even got me to divulge my full name; that’s how good he is. Here’s a snippet, along with a link to the rest of the post, as well as links to his interviews with friend and world’s funniest bellman (it’s a highly competitive niche) Robert Hookey (aka The Hook) and the thoughtful and funny Zoe Valentine (aka Zoe Says).

Oh, and did I mention he recently updated the post with photos of me I thought (or hoped) had been destroyed? Continue reading Thanks to Alan King, this week’s Nickel’s Worth is on me… literally

Stepping back through our newsroom door

Our actual door Our newsroom has a door. But that’s not the point of this post. Over the years, this door has become more than just a way in or out, or something that occasionally gets “stuck” with our editor on the other side. It has also become a Mecca of sorts. A place where journalists since the 1970s have taped, glued, pasted or otherwise adhered (you don’t want to know) headlines that are either badly written, clever or misspelled.

It is a beacon, really, harkening us into the jagged rocks of journalism.

Since the final edition of this weekly feature was posted exactly two years ago today, nearly 3,000 folks — reluctantly, accidentally, regrettably or otherwise — have started following this blog with little or no knowledge of The Door and it’s historical significance to journalism.

Until now.

Through the month of February, I thought it would be fun revisit our newsroom door each Wednesday to highlight some of the best of the worst headlines that grace it’s simulated wood- paneled surface. Since I can’t afford to fly all of you here to see it, and because I have nixed the idea of detaching the door and sending it to each of you to see for yourselves, I’ll be coming to your homes or places of employment to show you my favorites. It will be just like having me standing there next to you with our newsroom door! Except not as creepy. Continue reading Stepping back through our newsroom door

It’s official now: I have a poster and everything

image I stopped in at Fred Meyer and found these greeting me at each entrance. How do I know there is one in each lobby? Because after seeing one in the north side I ran as fast as I could casually strolled to the other entrance and pretended I needed a sanitary wipe for the basket I didn’t actually have.

Admittedly, it was pretty neat seeing the posters in place for Saturday’s book-signing fundraiser. Not to mention how clean my hands were after wiping them repeatedly while standing next to the poster waiting to be recognized — which didn’t take long.

“Hey, you’re that GUY!”
“Who, me? Well…”
“Yeah, I was your trash collector the morning after that big ice storm.”
“I’m not sure I remember…”
“You ran out in your underwear and slipped on the curb.”
“I don’t remember that”
“You landed headfirst in the recycle bin.”
“I think you have me confused with someone else.”
“Isn’t that you on the poster?”
“My hands are clean. I have to leave now.”

Can’t wait for Saturday…

Forget about that image of Bruce Jenner and start writing

write write write copy Welcome to this week’s edition of Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, when I take the writing insights gained from 16 years as a columnist and, much like the first remnants of fruitcake to arrive this holiday season, offer slices to people despite their objections and threats of physical harm.

It’s a feature Writers Digest has called, “…Tips every writer should know if they want to be successful. But not necessarily as a writer…”

And what Oprah’s Book Club recently heralded as “…An important reminder as to why we have a book club…”

But enough accolades!

I’m going to open this week’s NWOW with a simple truth:

Step one to being a writer: Write!

That advice seems pretty straight forward. The kind of obvious straight forwardness that carries you with complete confidence toe-first into a brick. Like most advice we’re given, the wisdom behind it is simple; the problem comes in the execution. Continue reading Forget about that image of Bruce Jenner and start writing

Don’t let Tofurky ruin your NaNoWriMo

image Welcome to a special “post-surgery” edition of Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, when I take the cumulative knowledge gathered from 16 years as a columnist and, much like my male nurse Vern, shave an unfettered path to nuggets of wisdom. It’s a weekly feature the Journal Medicine has heralded as “…writing tips proven to be an effective form of anesthesia…” and what Dr. Oz has endorsed as “…a natural cure for constipated writers. Or writer’s block. Or whatever…”

But enough accolades!

Let’s be honest: No one is going to read this. (And not just because I refered to “nuggets of wisdom.”) Why? Because everyone is busy finishing their own novel this month. Who has time to read about writing tips when they have 10,000 words remaining in their 50,000-word manuscript and a 30-lb. Thanksgiving turkey thawing in the sink? Not to mention that, at this time next week, many NaNoWriMo participants will be following up their day of giving “thanks” by attacking fellow shoppers on Black Friday for the last pair of Walking Dead slippers. What if their fingers get broken during a tussle at Target? Or they get walloped at Walmart? Mauled at Macy’s? Shanked at Sears? Body slammed at Bloomingdales?

You get the idea. Continue reading Don’t let Tofurky ruin your NaNoWriMo

Today marks 16 years as a columnist (and my editor’s drinking problem)

Looking ahead to another 16 years from the employee break area.
Looking ahead to another 16 years from the employee break area.
Today, my column has officially been around longer than some of my underwear. As I’m sure my editor would say, it’s a true testament to how a combination of hard work, dedication and “using powdered bleach instead of liquid can prolong the life of your boxers.”

I wear boxer briefs, actually. (Sometimes I don’t think she knows me at all.)

Regardless, 16 years ago my first column appeared in Siuslaw News, along with my first stories and photos as the news sports editor. I had returned to my hometown after a 16-year absence, working as a chef in Texas and Atlanta. Writing wasn’t new to me, but journalism was. I still marvel at my good fortune of being chosen over two journalism grads from the University of Oregon by then-editor Bob Serra, who saw something in my writing that spoke louder than my lack of experience or college degree. Or perhaps it spoke of a drinking problem.

Whatever the case, I still remember the mixture of excitement and terror as I opened that first issue and saw my name in print, along with this photo accompanying my first column… Continue reading Today marks 16 years as a columnist (and my editor’s drinking problem)

I can’t say ‘Thank You’ enough — but it’s worth a shot

image Late Sunday evening I opened my iPad for the first time since Friday, when I wrote about the tragedy that had swept — home to home and heart to heart — through our small community the previous morning. Those who have been following this blog for a while already know, though I’m a humor columnist (If you just started following, I promise this blog gets funnier), I take a turn for the serious when the situation warrants. And while I still have to produce “funny” for newspapers that carry my column, this blog is a true extension of myself — because you allow and encourage it to be.

Friday was a truly wonderful and humbling example of that.

With the kids in bed and my wife asleep on the couch next to me, I sat staring at the screen with a mixture of awe and profound appreciation for the more than 150 responses — words of encouragement, support and understanding — for me, my son, our family and the community. Writing that post was a necessary part of my own healing process; receiving so much support was like talking through it with a close friend. Continue reading I can’t say ‘Thank You’ enough — but it’s worth a shot

Tips to jump-start your writing (unless you’re in Arkansas)

image It’s Friday, but this one is different! Why? No, not because I woke up with our dog’s nose somewhere we both regret. What makes this Friday different is that 47 years ago today my life got better without me even knowing it — because my wife was born! To celebrate, I’ve taken the next three days off, in part so I can apologize for the fact I just announced her age to more than 5,000 people.

Yeah, that was dumb.

However, I was smart enough to plan ahead and have a post ready for this week’s Nickel’s Worth On Writing which, in case you’re visiting for the first time, is when I take the wisdom gathered from 15 years as a columnist and share it much like U2’s latest album — no one asked for it but they’re getting it for free anyway.

Unlike U2’s album, my weekly feature has been heralded by Publishers Weekly as “…Writing advice to inspire your best work, assuming you stack hazard cones for a living…”

But enough accolades!

There’s nothing quite like staring at a blank page, knowing that with a few strokes of the keyboard you will transform a landscape devoid of life into a living, breathing thing of your own creation. There’s also nothing quite like finishing that fourth cup of coffee only to find that same blank page staring back at you. Continue reading Tips to jump-start your writing (unless you’re in Arkansas)

This Just In …

image

…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…

[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]

Any journalist will tell you a well-written headline can mean the difference between getting your story at the top of the fold on Page 1, or settling for a small corner next to a press release for the Moose Lodge spaghetti feed. In fact, headlines are so important that some newspapers have editors who do nothing but come up with catchy titles to hook readers.

Not here at Siuslaw News.

We don’t even have a poofreader. Continue reading This Just In …