Needless to say the pressure has been tremendous. Even Morley Safer was pulled out of retirement to hound me, which he has been doing by continuously faxing images of his rear with the words “I will make you crack.”
So, yes — things have been a little tense here in the Siuslaw News editorial room, where The Door remains safe from blatant commercialism and media hype, while continuing to serve its dual purpose as both a journalistic mecca and restroom door. For those who may be visiting for the first time, perhaps because you have just been rescued from a deserted island along with a volleyball named “Wilson,” I should explain that The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance), is home to a collection of the best and worst examples of newspaper journalism, taped there by reporters at the Siuslaw News since the 1970s, back when most interviews took place while sitting naked in a grassy field. Each week, we highlight one of those historic examples, after which we wash our hands repeatedly.
Following a tradition first established four decades ago, at least in terms of the worm-hole effect, we will now join hands and, in a monotoned voice similar to a clerk working the late shift at Wal-Mart, repeat the following chant:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
That said, let us get to this week’s entry, from a 2002 Associated Press story in The Bend Bulletin. Thee headline is either a purposeful play on words or, as I suspect, a lack of inspiration, caring, interest or —
Eh… who really cares…
Ned's Blog 
The – door – is – a – awwwww who cares
I was recently marooned in a elevator with a medicine ball named Brian Wilson.
Whatever…
Like gag me with a spewn.
Like. Totally.
Haha….love it!
Witty!
Meh. . . . . whatever. . .
Lol! I’m actually a big fan of The Rock. Just, you know, not like THAT. Truth be told, I already live with my fantasy woman — codeine-induced or otherwise 😉
I guess some of us are just lucky like that. Me, I could be the only one to purchase a ticket for a rigged lottery and still not win!! 🙂
Maybe it’s time to try another way of picking your lucky numbers 😉
I think you could be right about that one! 🙂
😉
if you threw a rally and no one came, was it still a rally?
In think it’s called my birthday party.
WAIT! Don’t end the story there, you fiend… TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS CROWD!
I think “small crowd” refers to the size of the individuals, not how many. I’m pretty sure they were midgets protesting discrimination. I think. Or whatever…
Oh my… One glance at that headline and I laughed out loud and had to cover up with a fake cough!
Hey, thanks for caring enough to attempt a fake cough.