For those who have been following The Door, particularly in the last few weeks, then you know that media powerhouses ABC, CBS, NBC and the 700 Club have been pressuring me for an interview and exclusive access to what Diane Sawyer called “A journalistic treasure equal to the late Barbara Walters, God rest her soul… hmm? Oh, sorry. I mean, if she were dead.”
Needless to say the pressure has been tremendous. Even Morley Safer was pulled out of retirement to hound me, which he has been doing by continuously faxing images of his rear with the words “I will make you crack.”
So, yes — things have been a little tense here in the Siuslaw News editorial room, where The Door remains safe from blatant commercialism and media hype, while continuing to serve its dual purpose as both a journalistic mecca and restroom door. For those who may be visiting for the first time, perhaps because you have just been rescued from a deserted island along with a volleyball named “Wilson,” I should explain that The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance), is home to a collection of the best and worst examples of newspaper journalism, taped there by reporters at the Siuslaw News since the 1970s, back when most interviews took place while sitting naked in a grassy field. Each week, we highlight one of those historic examples, after which we wash our hands repeatedly.
Following a tradition first established four decades ago, at least in terms of the worm-hole effect, we will now join hands and, in a monotoned voice similar to a clerk working the late shift at Wal-Mart, repeat the following chant:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism.
That said, let us get to this week’s entry, from a 2002 Associated Press story in The Bend Bulletin. Thee headline is either a purposeful play on words or, as I suspect, a lack of inspiration, caring, interest or —
Eh… who really cares…