Even though our Dempublican Party Convention was purposely held after the RNC but before the DNC, on Saturday afternoon, between 1:30 and 2:15 p.m., in the seating area of the Fred Meyer deli, it was still somehow overlooked by the media!
Although I’m pretty sure someone was live-streaming us on Facebook with their iPod.
As they walked by, grocery shopping with their infant.
Anyway, now that the conventions are over, some of you may still be undecided about who to vote for this November. Or, like a lot of Americans, you feel as though you’re not voting FOR someone as much as you are voting against
Trump someone else?
Is THAT what our forefathers had in mind when they took the risk of gathering together in secret to get drunk at Christiana Campbell’s Tavern and write the Declaration of Independence?!?
I don’t think so!
And did our forefathers like bacon? Yes! (If they still had their teeth). So, if YOU like bacon, and THEY liked bacon, then the Dempublican Party is YOUR party because bacon is a huge part of our platform! In fact, we tried to make a speaking platform out of actual bacon but, well…
We ate most of it.
Instead, during rallies, we just wave a bacon strip around during speeches for added emphasis.
As I’m sure you can imagine, campaign funding has been extremely tough since Hormel is our only real sponsor, and most of that money goes to quite the lobbiests from the American Association of Cardiologists. So, aside from a few T-shirts and campaign buttons, and a can of Bac-Os someone from the Green Party threw at us, we don’t have much in the way of a promotional material.
Except for this video…
I think that pretty much defines our goals as a political party, and what you can expect my priorities to be as your president. Wow! I get goosebumps just typing that!
*Gets up and closes window*
My fellow Americans, if you are still undecided about who to vote for this November, especially if you’re Canadian, I hope you’ll consider joining me and the Dempublican Party.
The world is a funny place; elect someone with experience…