Tag: writing

Tonight’s performance will be raw — and not that funny

Tonight, things get serious.
Tonight, things get a little serious.

For those of you following and supporting my pursuit of “Performer of the Year” in the A Star is Born competition at The Public Blogger, the theme for tonight’s round is “RAW.” Fortunately, since this isn’t Hell’s Kitchen, there won’t be Chef Ramsey yelling at everyone about their uncooked chicken or lamb. What it does mean is that, unlike past weeks in this competition, we were given just 24 hours to respond to two questions:

What is your contribution?

And

Where will it find its home? 

The point of this round, and why we were given such a short time to put our submission together, was so that it would be as unrehearsed, real, live and “raw” as possible. For my piece, I decided to strip away as much as possible (Don’t worry! There’s no nudity!) by answering those two questions as spontaneously and unrehearsed as possible. To do that, I avoided the written word, which allows me time to think things through. I simply set myself up in front of a camera and answered the questions uncut and unrehearsed. No fancy images. No music or flashy segues — just me, answering in one take.

No second chances.  Continue reading Tonight’s performance will be raw — and not that funny

It’s official: Let’s try this post again! (In its entirety this time)

(Note: This has been updated from the original post earlier this morning, which was missing 300 words thanks to the new “auto-save” feature on the new “WordPress Editor.” In short: I almost had a stroke already this morning…)

image The latest round in The Public Blogger’s “Performer of the Year” competition has been completed, and thanks to your continued support — and a little help from Canada,eh? — I not only made it through the round but remain in the No. 1 spot after sweeping the public and judges vote. And yes, and investigation has been launched.

My reaction when the results were posted was something along the lines of:

“HOLY @#$%!”

So what does this mean exactly?

I have no idea, other than I’ll be heading into Round Six with my fellow nominees — Oscar, Rebecca, Kelly and Charles — this Sunday for our next challenge, which is called “RAW.” The one thing I do know is that if they want the ratings to stay up, it better include me keeping my clothes on. Continue reading It’s official: Let’s try this post again! (In its entirety this time)

Don’t let thoughts of Tofurky ruin your NaNoWriMo

image Let’s be honest: No one is going to read this.

Why?

Because everyone is busy finishing their own novel this month. Who has time to read about writing tips when they have 20,000 words remaining in their 50,000-word manuscript and a 30-lb. Thanksgiving turkey already thawing in the sink? Not to mention that, in less than two weeks, many NaNoWriMo participants will be following up their day of giving “thanks” by attacking fellow shoppers on Black Friday for the last pair of “The Walking Dead” slippers. What if their fingers get broken during a tussle at Target? Or they get walloped at Walmart? Mauled at Macy’s? Shanked at Sears? Body slammed at Bloomingdales?

You get the idea.

A lot of writers are feeling the pressure to finish their manuscripts before the end of next week because anything can happen once Thanksgiving Day arrives Nov.26. No one wants to take the chance of being within 500 words of finishing their manuscript, only to have it consumed in a sudden turkey flashover thanks to the combustable nature of aunt Renee’s new whiskey stuffing recipe. And even supposing a writer and their manuscript make it through the holiday unscathed, there’s still Black Friday to get through. Will they make it back safely? Will they make it back without emotional scarring? Will they make it back at ALL? If not, will their family be taken care of?

Or more importantly, will there be a ghost writer available to finish their manuscript in before Nov.30?!? Continue reading Don’t let thoughts of Tofurky ruin your NaNoWriMo

Exhausted and appreciative isn’t a bad way to end the night

image After a six-hour delay, three glasses of wine, a short nap and waking up to our Labrador sniffing my face (just glad I wasn’t laying on my stomach), the final results from the fourth round of The Public Blogger’s “Performer of the Year” competition were revealed a short time ago on my Facebook page. It took me a while to comprehend it. Not because of the wine, but from the sheer appreciation I feel for all of your support. The next glass I raise will simply be as a toast to all of you. Thank You all so much… I’m heading to bed — exhausted and deeply appreciative.

Care to join me in limbo? There’s a seat open…

imageFor those of you following my pursuit of “Performer of the Year” at The Public Blogger, and wondering how today’s voting went… you’re not alone. As of 4 p.m. the final tallies for the top six, as well as who will be elminiated in this round, have not been revealed. And I swear I didn’t fall asleep and miss something. Here’s the information I received a short time ago on my Facebook page from the show.

Dear Ned — You were eliminated three weeks ago. Why are you still here?

Ha! Ha! ! What a kidder!

Oh, here it is…

Special Announcement: ‪#‎AStarisBorn‬ and Falling Star

Good afternoon fans, supporters, neighbors and followers of A Star is Born. The delay has caught everyone off guard, but solutions are never far. A formal announcement will be made by 5PM PST Today, and I assure you, within the next 24 hours one of the seven Artists… will be thrown from the stage. Your patience is appreciated as the show will go on. – thepublicblogger

Drama! Supense! Intrigue! Danger! And by that last one I mean the danger of interfering with my dinner schedule. I promise to keep you up to date as informatin becomes available. But as of right now, you share the same loop as I do.

Scary, I know.

In the meantime, I want to thank you for your patience and, most of all, your continued support here and at the voting polls each week. I truly and deeply appreciate it. It really does mean a lot having you out there. And trust me, it’s better to be out there than in here with me…

— Ned

Another performance that took me 90 seconds or less

image Tomorrow night, I and the other six remaining nominees in the “Performance of the Year” competition at The Public Blogger will reveal the results of our Fourth Challenge: “Star Turn.” And although several of us are utilizing video, as far as I know there will be no red thongs involved. At least on my end. Or front. Or whatever.

This week’s challenge required us to incorporate four things into our creation:

1) Written words (350 max)

2) Our recorded voice (60 seconds max)

3) Images created/photographed by us

4) Presentation should reveal something about why we chose to pursue our art form.

Undoubtedly, many of are breathing a sigh of relief that my chosen art form isn’t nude self-portraits, even though it would ultimately still qualify as humor. Regardless, my presentation has been submitted and will be revealed in its entirety, along with the other six nominees’ work, tomorrow night at 7 p.m. when voting goes live for this round. The total time allowed for our presentations is 90 seconds or less, which coincidentally matches my own personal best time in… well, it doesn’t really matter. Continue reading Another performance that took me 90 seconds or less

Please accept my preemptive apology in advance beforehand

image

As the intensity of “Performance of the Year” competition at The Public Blogger increases, I’d like to apologize for some things, beginning with how infrequent my visits to other people’s blogs, websites and Facebook pages has been lately. I have a running list of posts saved to my email that keeps growing — Mollytopia, The Hook, Ross Murray, Rouged Mount, Lizzi, Rarasuar, Hasty Words, List of X, Miz Yank, She’s a Maineiac, Lipstick and Laundry, The Sisterwives, to name a few. I am looking forward to the day in a few weeks when I can sit back and spend an entire day catching up on my drinking reading all of the posts I have saved to savor later. I just wanted you to know that I’m well aware of what I’m missing, and that my absense is not an indication of disinterest or an elitist attitude.

Simply put: I’m just getting my butt kicked. Continue reading Please accept my preemptive apology in advance beforehand

Good news travels fast! Until it reaches my blog, apparently

image It’s been more than five hours since the little graphic to the left appeared on my Facebook page after the final votes and judges’ scores were tabbula tabulei added up for this week’s round of Performance of the Year competition at The Public Blogger.

Why the delay?

I’d like to say it was because, after several margaritas and a donkey  ride (at least I think it was a donkey) in Tijuana, Mexico,  (at least I think it was a Tijuana) in celebration, I passed out in wheel barrow and was being carried back through customs when I was detained for slurring and yelling “Mi esssss Numero UNO, senior Policia!” over an over until I lost my enchiladas on the shoes of a border patrol agent.

I’d like to say that, but the reason for the delay is much less colorful and, admittedly, a lot less forgivable:

I got sidetracked with work on an early deadline after posting the results on my *sigh* Facebook page.

I’m aware that many of you don’t follow Facebook, which is all the more reason I should have made sure to post this hours ago, when Michelle Terry at Lipstick and Laundry commented: “Was that YOU I saw in Mexico?” Continue reading Good news travels fast! Until it reaches my blog, apparently

Tonight I’m attempting poetry for your vote; please be gentle

image For tonight’s third round of Performance of the Year competition at The Public Blogger, each of us remaining eight nominees has been asked to submit a piece in a genre outside of our comfort zone; but something we’d like to become better at. As I learned while wearing a red thong, me doing anything in a genre involving being nearly naked simply makes everyone ELSE uncomfortable. So artisticly expressive nude selfies were definitely out.

At a young age, I was inspired by the amazing imagery of T.S. Elliot. For this reason, I chose poetry. I wasn’t allowed to include humor in it, which meant I had to dig deeply. My first few attempts weren’t that great.

For examle:

Roses are red
Violets are blue
Poetry is hard
See what I mean?

At any rate, I submitted my five-stanza poetry piece called “At The River’s Edge” and it will premier tonight at 7 p.m., along with the other talented nominees’ new works in areas outside of their normal genre of creativity. There will be sculpture, videos, music, paintings and song lyrics.

Incidentally, no one chose “humor writing,” by the way.

Just saying… *cough cough* Continue reading Tonight I’m attempting poetry for your vote; please be gentle

Every politician wishes they had this kind of support. And probably Dolly Parton, too.

imageThe final results for round two of voting are in for “Performance of the Year” at The Public Blogger. We aren’t told anything until the announcement shows up on each of our Facebook pages. Usually within 10 minutes after the close of voting. I was at work, drinking coffee at my desk when this showed up on my screen. Unfortunately, I was also using my coffee to wash down a rather large piece of apple fritter when it appeared.

I won’t get into the details, but take my word when I say it IS physically possible for a fritter to move through your entire nasal passage in less than seven seconds.

It’s also why I’ll be asking, “Is it just me or does everything smell like apples?” for a few days.

Once again, I am incredibly humbled and appreciative of all your support in helping me stay at the top for a second week. As most of you know, I don’t normally do awards, and I’m not really interested in competing with anyone other than myself.

And yes, armwrestling gets a little tricky. Continue reading Every politician wishes they had this kind of support. And probably Dolly Parton, too.