Every good journalist wants to be shown… The Door

Our actual newsroom door, and the envy of Barbara Walters.

Our actual newsroom door, and the envy of Barbara Walters.

It seems comments about The Door among journalists and bloggers — much like your favorite cream cheese or many Hollywood audition hopefuls — have been spreading quickly. Just yesterday, I got a call from Barbara Walters, asking if I would be interested in talking with her about what she called “Those wonderfuwwy wacky and whimsical journa-wistic pieces of histowy.

I told her I was a big fan and extremely flattered but, “No.

To which she replied, “DWOP DEAD!” and hung up.

So what is The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) exactly? Quite literally, it is a living, breathing piece of journalistic history assembled over 40 years by reporters here at Siuslaw News. That said, it’s no mere coincidence that the other side of The Door leads to the commode, where those same reporters have been depositing a different kind of history — and where, in a fitting twist, nothing living can breathe.

Today, we have a new first on The Door: a two-part clipping, meaning that whoever put this piece together has earned the coveted “Twin Globes of Shame” award, which is named in part because of its rare “two-shames-in-one” distinction, and partly because the trophy once belonged to a failed cosmetic surgeon.

But as regular readers of this weekly feature know, we must first embark on a ritual that followers of The Door have practiced through the centuries, at least in dog years, meaning we must now join hands and, in a monotoned voice similar to Kristen Stewart’s dialogue coach, repeat the following:

The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism

Today’s clipping comes from the upper right corner of The Door. It was taken from The Bend Bulletin in Bend, Ore., in 1998, in an article that first stood out because of its headline, which demonstrated the expert use of an economy of words while, simultaneously, relaying painfully obvious information …

Yet another fine example of how a good investigative journalist can mean the difference between stating the obvious or revealing what any five-year-old knows.

Yet another fine example of how a good investigative journalist can mean the difference between stating the obvious or revealing what any five-year-old knows.

Yet upon further investigation, this well-intentioned article aimed at providing tips to surviving winter’s freezing temperatures reveals what happens when your proof reader has already frozen to death without anyone knowing…

Sadly, this might actually be the most original tip in the entire article .

Sadly, this might actually be the most original tip in the entire article.

And there you have it. Now if you’ll excuse me, Barbara Walters is calling again.

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52 thoughts on “Every good journalist wants to be shown… The Door

  1. I wonder if Bawbwa cwaps hewself in a bwanket to keep wawm?? Maybe she should call Kristen Stewarts’ dialogue coach!! Awesomeness….once again! (no raspberries were harmed during the reading of this post,but only because I haven’t had breakfast!)

  2. The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism and giving us a hint of the crap that lurks behind.

    I don’t think the proof reader missed anything. Crapping yourself does work in a pinch (pun intended).

  3. My favorite part is holding hands before we all jump on the jagged rocks of journalism.
    I’m getting rid of all the blankets before I get too old so I won’t have to worry about crap in them.

    • I like that part, too, although I usually get stuck with the person who has sweaty hands. And good plan on the blankets. I’d do they same with any Snuggy you might have, too — just to be safe 😉

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