I told her I was a big fan and extremely flattered but, “No.”
To which she replied, “DWOP DEAD!” and hung up.
So what is The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) exactly? Quite literally, it is a living, breathing piece of journalistic history assembled over 40 years by reporters here at Siuslaw News. That said, it’s no mere coincidence that the other side of The Door leads to the commode, where those same reporters have been depositing a different kind of history — and where, in a fitting twist, nothing living can breathe.
Today, we have a new first on The Door: a two-part clipping, meaning that whoever put this piece together has earned the coveted “Twin Globes of Shame” award, which is named in part because of its rare “two-shames-in-one” distinction, and partly because the trophy once belonged to a failed cosmetic surgeon.
But as regular readers of this weekly feature know, we must first embark on a ritual that followers of The Door have practiced through the centuries, at least in dog years, meaning we must now join hands and, in a monotoned voice similar to Kristen Stewart’s dialogue coach, repeat the following:
The Door is a beacon, drawing us into the jagged rocks of journalism
Today’s clipping comes from the upper right corner of The Door. It was taken from The Bend Bulletin in Bend, Ore., in 1998, in an article that first stood out because of its headline, which demonstrated the expert use of an economy of words while, simultaneously, relaying painfully obvious information …
Yet upon further investigation, this well-intentioned article aimed at providing tips to surviving winter’s freezing temperatures reveals what happens when your proof reader has already frozen to death without anyone knowing…
And there you have it. Now if you’ll excuse me, Barbara Walters is calling again.