Today proves The Box is part of a higher power (or someone was high)

I'm not sure if "Skippy" bites. Actually, I'm not even sure if he's a squirrel. Or a "he."
I’m not sure if “Skippy” bites. Actually, I’m not even sure if he’s a squirrel. Or a “he.”
That scream you just heard, depending on you proximity to our newsroom, can only mean one thing! Ok, possibly two, but I haven’t written in the nude for at least a month. That means today’s scream was the result of releasing a wild, blindfolded squirrel into the newsroom.

Why?

Because it’s time once again to randomly choose a photo from our collection of decades-old unclaimed and unidentified photos in The Box here at Siuslaw News.

Before I reveal this week’s photo, I must admit I was shocked that an image of its importance and religious significance had been sitting in The Box for the last 20 to 30 years. I called The Vatican and was told a special team of trained investigators would be dispatched to verify the authenticity of this photo, just as soon as they were done disproving claims that Sean “Puffy” Combs is a deity. “Given that he is the only one to make these claims, it shouldn’t take long,” said the Vatican representative I spoke with.

In the meantime, until the Vatican team arrives, I am offering this photo as evidence of what I’m convinced is the first-ever photo bomb by Jesus…

though it hasn't officially confirmed by The Vatican yet, I am confident this photo bomb by Jesus will set the news media on fire. Or maybe just me...
Though it hasn’t officially been confirmed by The Vatican yet, I am confident this photo bomb by Jesus will set the news media on fire. Or maybe just me…
Advertisement

Published by

Ned's Blog

I was a journalist, humor columnist, writer and editor at Siuslaw News for 23 years. The next chapter in my own writer’s journey is helping other writers prepare their manuscript for the road ahead. I'm married to the perfect woman, have four great kids, and a tenuous grip on my sanity...

74 thoughts on “Today proves The Box is part of a higher power (or someone was high)”

  1. I dont know how that got *in the box*….but…yeah…thats me, Mary Magdeline in the middle. Thanks alot Ned. Presuming I am in white and Jesus has a staff….I assume I should *sin no more*…

  2. I’ve heard about this. Jesus, the Missing Years (Prine, John. Awesomeness Personified, 19–.) I believe this one dates to right around the time he left Chicago.

    I hope this becomes a meme. Unless there are eternal consequences for hoping that.

  3. Was it Jesus that said “Walk softly and carry a big stick”? He used that stick well. There are some versions of the Bible that still include the verse from the Sermon on the Mount “Blessed are the peacemakers (clonk) for they shall see stars. Now pay attention next time, you in the front row”.

No one is watching, I swear...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s