Tag: blogging

My review of a ‘Twilight’ book that doesn’t actually exist

Eclipsed Sunset cover So let’s say you’re a HUGE Twilight fan. And let’s further say you’re looking for a good book for summer when suddenly, and without warning… BAM! you stumble across a review about the new Twilight book YOU DIDN’T EVEN KNOW WAS BEING RELEASED?!? How could this HAPPEN?!? Who is RESPONSIBLE?! Why was there nothing in my Twilight Fan Club email?!

That was the catalyst for my “review” of Eclipsed Sunset, the latest book in the Twilight series which, as it so happens, doesn’t actually exist. My friend Sara, who is the editor and a contributor at Gliterary Girl, posted it this morning at 8 a.m. London time.

Didn’t you hear the screaming?

Unlike this post, there was no such introduction.

This could be fun… Continue reading My review of a ‘Twilight’ book that doesn’t actually exist

Insuring your buttocks could require a big premium

Buttocks appraisor Being that Jennifer Lopez was reportedly able to insure her buttocks for a million dollars, and British food critic Egon Ronay had his taste buds insured for $400,000, I couldn’t help but wonder how much I could get for my legs.

After filling out the necessary paperwork and submitting a photo, it turns out my legs have a combined net worth of just over $68.50.

That’s according to Lloyd’s of London, which assured me its appraisal was pretty much the going rate for hairy-legged,40-something, non-celebrities. As you can imagine, I was absolutely shocked by the insurance company’s appraisal of my legs’ value, and immediately responded by firing back a letter telling them — in no uncertain terms — to sign me up before they changed their mind.

That’s right. For just $100 a month, I have the security of knowing that in the event of an accident, my legs — just like our vehicles and home — will be assessed by an experienced claims adjustor and immediately declared a total loss.

No matter how minimal the damage. Continue reading Insuring your buttocks could require a big premium

Warning labels vs Natural Selection: case in point…

e452855bb7267206a82fba24c16ef6a9_width_600x Less than an hour ago, I posted a column titled, “Are Warning Labels Impeding Natural Selection?” Here is a case-in-point, brought to my attention by a brilliant blogger friend at Love and Anthropology, who offers definitive proof that some of those drowning in the human gene pool shouldn’t get a life preserver…

To mark this blogging milestone, I hope you like coffee

Coffee knocked over copy For anyone about to read this, I suggest sitting down and gripping the sides of your chair. And maybe even strapping on a helmet. That’s because this post marks an exciting milestone of COLOSSAL proportions!

No, I’m not writing about the Biggest Loser.

As if it wasn’t enough that this blog began six months ago TODAY, this also happens to be its 100th post!

Mere coincidence? I DON’T THINK SO!

… OK, yeah — it probably is. In fact, I’d guarantee it because, to be honest, I’m just not that organized.

But it’s still worth celebrating, right?!?

As I sat staring bleary-eyed at the monitor sipping my Mexican mocha, contemplating the appropriate way to mark this occasion, inspiration struck! So, some time in the next 10 minutes, each of you will be receiving your very own Mexican mocha! I can’t guarantee it will still be hot, or that the whipped cream won’t have turned to cottage cheese, but I can guarantee, when it arrives, the only person who will be more surprised than you is me. Continue reading To mark this blogging milestone, I hope you like coffee

Grammy, Shmammy — LL Cool J’s got nothing on this cracker

versatileblogger111 Blog of the Year Award 1 star jpeg vinspiringblog You know how some days you wake up and, while half asleep, you head to the bathroom — but not before putting both feet in the same pant leg? And then after laying face down on the carpet for a few minutes, you realize your naked rear is sticking straight up because your feet are bound together like a rodeo calf? And in the moment is when the door opens and it’s your 18-year-old daughter, who begins screaming and scratching at her eyes because of what she’s witnessed?

OK, maybe it’s just me then.

Well, today didn’t start like that for me. Today was actually a morning of extremely pleasant momentum, which, in our house, usually means an empty bathroom (rare in a house with three teenagers) and a perfectly timed BM. In this case, however, it was pleasant momentum spurred by kudos from my fellow bloggers. After returning to the keyboard following two days of what CSI: Las Vegas would term “explosive flu blowback” [Insert rapid sequence through nasal passages here], I had a chance to go through my “Likes” and “Comments,” which led to a very humbling series of nods from fellow bloggers whose work I admire. Continue reading Grammy, Shmammy — LL Cool J’s got nothing on this cracker