Tag: journalism

One person’s mold is another person’s meat substitute

Am I the only one uncomfortable with the term "Naked Chik'n?"
Am I the only one uncomfortable with the term “Naked Chik’n?”
In today’s society, the relationship between carnivores and vegetarians is often tentative at best. Meat eaters look upon vegetarians with suspicion because, hey:
If we weren’t meant to eat animals, then why are they made out of meat?

Vegetarians, on the other hand, point out what separates us from animals is our ability to override our natural instinct, as human beings, to gag on tofu.

This uneasy co-existance is nothing new, and actually dates back to the very first vegetarian caveman who, after swearing-off meat in front of his clan and a panel of cave elders, was promptly eaten. Because of this, mistrust between carnivores and herbivores exists to this day. One example can be seen in the design of supermarkets, which strategically puts meat at the back of the store and fruits and vegetables near the front; should carnivores suddenly riot in the event of a rump roast shortage, herbivores will at least have a head start in getting to the exits. Continue reading One person’s mold is another person’s meat substitute

Alligators, erotica and other interview styles (part 2)

image Welcome to another edition of Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, a weekly feature when I utilize my 15 years as a newspaper columnist to offer writing insights that Publishers Digestion has called “…nuggets of wisdom similar to McDonald’s Dippers; in either case, we aren’t sure where they come from…” Or what The Master of Horror® Stephen King has heralded as, “…The last word in writing advice. Just as soon as my lawyers get involved…”

But enough accolades!

As I mentioned last week, this two-part series is a bit of a departure from my normal NWOW. Not only because of the kinky search-term hits I’ll be receiving due to having “alligator” and “erotica” in the same title, but also because it’s the second half of a post focusing on how different interview styles get subjects to reveal different things about themselves. In scientific terms, think of me as the “control subject” while Marcia Meara and Eden Baylee are the variables. Or put another way, see how Marcia’s threat of unleashing an albino alligator prompts a different answer than Eden’s constant slapping of a feather whip against her chair leg. Continue reading Alligators, erotica and other interview styles (part 2)

Of alligators and erotica: Revealing myself to Marcia Meara and Eden Baylee (Part 1)

image It’s Friday, and we all know what that means… That’s right! It’s time to call in sick for a three-day weekend! It’s also time for Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, which many bosses, especially editors, accept as a legitimate cause for illness. So go ahead and read this before making that phone call! For those who might be visiting for the first time, I should explain my weekly NWOW is when I take what I’ve learned from 15 years as a columnist and filter out the impurities, much like that water filter in your refrigerator that hasn’t been changed since you bought it, and offer you a refreshing glass of slightly sulfuric-smelling wisdom.

But don’t take my word for it! Publishers Digestion has called my NWOW, “…Writing advice you can’t find anywhere else. And we’d like to keep it that way…” and what The Master of Horror® Stephen King has heralded as “…Writing wisdom that keeps me awake at night…”

But enough accolades! Continue reading Of alligators and erotica: Revealing myself to Marcia Meara and Eden Baylee (Part 1)

By not following my own advice, I think I may have pulled a blog muscle

image As Kevin Spacey once told me, “A man’s got to know his limitations.” Granted, he told me this while imitating Clint Eastwood, during a mock interview, at a fictitious nacho bar restaurant called Casa de Papitas (House of Chips). But that doesn’t make the message any less poignant. Especially when you consider how, that same week, my Nickel’s Worth on Writing compared writing to weight lifting — and how it’s easy to hurt yourself by trying to lift too much.

I can honestly say I’ve never injured anything other than my pride at the gym — an incident I blame on an unfortunate combination of Mexican food and an ill-timed squat that cleared out an entire row of stationary cyclists. However, in terms of my writing commitments — combined with my commitment to family, firefighting and the newspaper — I feel like the guy on the bench press who has suddenly realized, on the fifth rep, that he shouldn’t have added that last 10 pounds while his spotter was in the bathroom. Do I keep trying to lift, hoping I get the bar back into the holders before my arms give out? Do I bring the weight down onto my chest and wait for help from my spotter, knowing he suffers from IBS and could be on the commode for 20 to 30 minutes? Or do I, in a loud voice, announce that I had Mexican food again and allow the entire gym to clear out before dropping the bar-bell onto the floor? Continue reading By not following my own advice, I think I may have pulled a blog muscle

For this week’s Nickel’s Worth, I am deferring to Canada

An image borrowed from Ross Murray's private collection of Andy Warhol's "Early Failures" collection.
An image borrowed from Ross Murray’s private collection of Andy Warhol’s “Early Failures” collection.
Welcome to a special edition [Please note bold print] of Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, which is coming to you from Canada this week! Why Canada? And what makes this week’s NWOW so danged special? Because, in addition to today’s post having a decidedly international flair (There are French people in Canada, so it’s almost like we’re in France!), it also happens to be the first reblog of any post here. That should tell you several things, including: 1) How terrific I think my friend Ross Murray’s post is, 2) How important I think it is you read it, and 3) This morning’s double deadline has put me so far behind I think I see my butt in front of me.

Not necessarily in that order.

And come to think of it, that actually might be my editor in front of me…

Anyway, Ross and I have spoken in the past about the inevitability of — and ways of getting out of — a writing “slump.”

Or “slouch” as they say in Canada, because whenever possible a Canadian word must have an “ou” in it, such as “Humour,” “Harbour” and “Flour” to name a few. However, despite this language barrier, I have come to appreciate our exchanges and Ross’s insights into writing. This one in particular, about how tapping into your creativity can be like riding a wrecking ball with Miley Cyrus easy with the right approach, is a great example of wisdom, wit and me shirking my responsibilities this week.

I promise you’ll understand why once you read Ross’s piece HERE

Apparently, one Fiddler on the Roof actually played a trombone

"Skippy" the rabid, blindfolded squirrel in his natural habitat. Pretty much.
“Skippy” the rabid, blindfolded squirrel in his natural habitat. Pretty much.
“RELEASE THE SQUIRREL!”

It’s been a week since those words were exclaimed in Braveheart fashion, sending Skippy, our newsroom’s resident rabid squirrel, on a journey to collect your odd and inexplicable photos. Why?

Because Skippy really needs to get out more.

But also because, With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility. And thanks to Kerbey at I Don’t Get It, I realized I have an obligation to use my investigative journalism superpowers to reveal the truth behind more than just The Box of old, unidentified and unclaimed photos in our newsroom. That’s why, like Spider-Man, I am swinging into action to help others, except without the sticky webbing or skin-tight body suit — because I also have a responsibility not to frighten people. Continue reading Apparently, one Fiddler on the Roof actually played a trombone

Writing is a lot like weightlifting, except without the abs

image Thanks for joining us for another edition of Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, when I take the collective wisdom gathered from 15 years as a columnist and, much like an all-you-can-eat burrito bar, offer ingredients that will satisfy your writing hunger while still leaving you a little gassy. But don’t just take my word for it! Publisher’s Digest has heralded my weekly writing tips as “…A step-by-step guide to literary success, as long as you can walk backwards…” and what ®The Master of Horror Stephen King has called “…Writing milestones you’ll keep stubbing your toe on…”

But enough accolades!

It struck me this morning at the gym, while diligently pumping iron from a seated position at the smoothie bar, the number of similarities there are between reaching your fitness goals and writing goals, and how, in both cases, you will likely fail if you attempt too much too fast — especially if you’re trying to show off and accidentally flatulate while attempting a power lift. OK, now that the obligations required by my Gas-X sponsorship have been met, we can move on to how the same principles that make up a good fitness plan can be applied to achieving your writing goals. (Make sure to stop in next week, when Trojan will sponsor tips on expanding your readership.) Continue reading Writing is a lot like weightlifting, except without the abs

Kevin Spacey pays it forward during a nacho bar interview

(I’m over at the office of Long Awkward Pause today, where we are kicking off Kevin Spacey Week. Don’t bother looking for a Hallmark card. But you might want to tune in May 28, when he’ll be a guest on our podcast. I know — we’re not sure how that happened either. Especially after my interview with him…)

image Though known for being tight-lipped about his private life, earlier this month it became no secret Kevin Spacey loves Mexican food. So it was no surprise when the two-time ®Oscar winner chose to meet for our interview at a quiet table in the back of Casa de Papitas, or “House of Chips,” a Hollywood-area nacho bar nicknamed “The Mexican Brown Derby” because of its celebrity clientele. I crossed the busy dining area past the nacho bar, which was nearly depleted after a visit from Brad and Angelina’s family, and saw Spacey at a small table in an alcove taking a selfie with a Mariachi band member.

“Let’s see how much s**t we can stir up with this Tweet, El Presidente,” said Spacey, who then motioned me over and stuck out his hand. “You must be from Long Awkward Pause.”

Admittedly star-struck, I only nodded.

“I figured as much, because this handshake is lasting way too long and is becoming awkward,” he said, then paused. “See what I just did there?” (Read more at LAP…)

If you want to be a writer, you really need to talk to someone

(Note: Because this is indeed a re-post from last year, I have prepared myself for a good flogging. And not the kind E.L. James would give after dressing me up as a flying monkey from the Wizard of Oz. I have no one to blame but myself for this shortcoming, which I’d like to clarify has nothing to do with flying monkeys — and everything to do with one of those late-night fire calls that has left my brain like that of… well… a flying monkey. I hope you’ll forgive me, My Pretties. Pay no attention to that man snoring behind the curtain…)

image Yes, it’s true: Friday is finally here! And so is Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, both of which are awaited for with equal amounts of anticipation! Just like French toast and mustard; your favorite TV show and a power outage; or a great hair day and tornado warning. Why so much anticipation? Because this weekly feature on writing, culled from my 15 years as a columnist, has been referred to by Consumer Reports as “worth every penny, unless it’s Canadian.”

That’s right. Many of today’s most influential writers got their start right HERE. Or at least in this general vicinity, somewhere on the planet. The Master of Horror® Stephen King put it this way:

“Each week, he offers an oyster with a pearl inside. And each week I say to myself, ‘shuck it.'”

But enough accolades! Let’s get to this week’s NWOW, brought to you by yesterday’s coffee and today’s deadline. Continue reading If you want to be a writer, you really need to talk to someone

Skippy the rabid squirrel is coming to a town near you

Skippy the Rabid Squirrel's last known location.
Skippy the Rabid Squirrel’s last known whereabouts.
Everyone needs to get away sometimes. Even rabid squirrels. For those who noticed The Box was missing from last week’s line-up, there’s a good explanation for that — and you may or may not like it, depending on your proximity to a blogger named Kerbey at I Don’t Get It. That’s where Skippy was headed last Tuesday when, following my weekly cry of “RELEASE THE SQUIRREL!” he skittered out the newsroom door and hopped aboard a casino shuttle headed to the Eugene Airport.

As many of you know, Skippy is a crucial part of helping me make a weekly random selection from The Box, which contains dozens of submitted photos that have remained unclaimed and unidentified in our newsroom since the 1980s. To ensure impartiality, I wait until my fellow reporters are deep in thought (deleting all traces of inappropriate Google searches) before spreading the photos on our newsroom floor and releasing Skippy. The photo closest to the first person to scream is selected as our mystery photo. Continue reading Skippy the rabid squirrel is coming to a town near you