Some Oscars have already been handed out — Not that anyone cares

imageHOLLYWOOD (sort of) — As excitement over the much-anticipated glitz and glamour of this Sunday’s Academy Awards builds throughout Hollywood, Oscar winners for Technical Achievement were the first to bask in the spotlight during an equally prestigious awards ceremony held last night at a lavishly decorated abandoned Blockbuster Video warehouse in Culver City.

The evening began with nominees arriving in style aboard rented school bus shuttles adorned with banners reading “On To State The Oscars!” Like any major Hollywood premier, beams of light criss-crossed the night sky as unemployed SAG members waved flashlights to keep shuttles out of the McDonald’s parking lot across the street.

“These members of the Academy deserve to be recognized for their achievements,” Academy president Cheryl Boone Isaacs said during a phone interview. “And just because we don’t know what they do exactly, or who they are, doesn’t mean their night should be any less special. Or held during the actual Oscars ceremony.”  Continue reading

Ratings decline may require Oscars to get jiggy before things go wack

image As you’ve probably noticed, we have entered the annual “awards show” season, which officially began with the Golden Globe Awards, and is due to wrap up some time in April, when David Hasselhoff hosts the coveted Intoxicated Karaoke Performance Awards live from Tijuana, Mexico.

Every year, I watch at least some of these awards shows because, as a columnist, it’s important for me to keep up with cultural trends. I also watch because seeing Nicki Minaj always makes me feel better about the way I dress. However, according to a recent poll, ratings for awards shows have actually dropped. So much so that programming executives are calling it “an alarming trend.”

Personally, I think the word “alarming” is a little strong.

Coolant levels steadily leaking from a nuclear reactor — THAT’S alarming; a decline in the number of people tuning in to see how long it takes for a fight to break out at the Rapp Awards is actually pretty encouraging. The obvious reason ratings are down is because the number of awards shows is up. The entertainment industry must ask itself if it really needs The Golden Globes, The Oscars and The Peoples’ Choice Awards in order to single out Hollywood’s finest when they could just as easily save time and money by combining all three into, say…

The Peoples’ Globes Awards.

Okay, bad example (Although, it does sound like something that’s probably available on cable.) Continue reading

Kevin Spacey pays it forward during a nacho bar interview

(I’m over at the office of Long Awkward Pause today, where we are kicking off Kevin Spacey Week. Don’t bother looking for a Hallmark card. But you might want to tune in May 28, when he’ll be a guest on our podcast. I know — we’re not sure how that happened either. Especially after my interview with him…)

image Though known for being tight-lipped about his private life, earlier this month it became no secret Kevin Spacey loves Mexican food. So it was no surprise when the two-time ®Oscar winner chose to meet for our interview at a quiet table in the back of Casa de Papitas, or “House of Chips,” a Hollywood-area nacho bar nicknamed “The Mexican Brown Derby” because of its celebrity clientele. I crossed the busy dining area past the nacho bar, which was nearly depleted after a visit from Brad and Angelina’s family, and saw Spacey at a small table in an alcove taking a selfie with a Mariachi band member.

“Let’s see how much s**t we can stir up with this Tweet, El Presidente,” said Spacey, who then motioned me over and stuck out his hand. “You must be from Long Awkward Pause.”

Admittedly star-struck, I only nodded.

“I figured as much, because this handshake is lasting way too long and is becoming awkward,” he said, then paused. “See what I just did there?” (Read more at LAP…)

My final report LIVE from the Gravities! (I mean Oscars)

image Being a journalist, I am bringing you Academy Awards updates and observations throughout the evening LIVE! As they happen!

On my television…

In a surprise win, the Oscar for Best Picture went to “12 Years a Slave.” In his acceptance speech, Brad Pitt thanked the Academy and pointed out that “The best film of the year doesn’t have to be a big-budget, big star-driven movie like Gravity.” Moments later he was tragically struck by a falling chandelier.

Wake UP! I’m reporting Live from the Oscars! (On my TV)

image Being a journalist, I am bringing you Academy Awards updates and observations throughout the evening LIVE! As they happen!

On my television…

Okay, for those who have been unable to watch the Oscars this year due to unavoidable circumstances (The Walking Dead), here are the winners so far:

Anyone who had anything to do with the movie “Gravity.”

The Academy even created a new award recognizing the planet Earth for having gravity…

Yet another exciting moment LIVE from the Oscars (on my TV)

image Being a journalist, I am bringing you Academy Awards updates and observations throughout the evening LIVE! As they happen!

On my television…

I really thought I might win an Oscar for Best Live-Action Short since it was the only category Gravity wasn’t nominated in. I guess it’s about who you know.

And probably talent.

Another moment LIVE from the Oscars! (On my TV)

image Being a journalist, I am bringing you Academy Awards updates and observations throughout the evening LIVE! As they happen!

On my television…

Does anyone else find it ironic that the Outstanding Achievement in Sound award went to Gravity, a move that takes place in space — where there IS no sound?

Were you mesmerized (fell asleep) watching the Golden Globes too?

See how getting "Jiggy" saved the Intoxicated Karaoke Awards?

See how getting “Jiggy” saved the Intoxicated Karaoke Awards?

(A timely excerpt from my book, Humor at the Speed of Life that could single-handedly save awards shows. And by “single-handedly” I mean one-handed clapping…)

As you probably know, we have now entered the annual “awards show” season, which officially began with the Golden Globe Awards, and is due to wrap up some time in April, when David Hasselhoff hosts the coveted Intoxicated Karaoke Performance Awards live from Tijuana, Mexico.

Every year, I watch at least some of these awards shows because, as a columnist, it’s important for me to keep up with cultural trends. I also watch because seeing Nicki Minaj always makes me feel better about the way I dress. However, according to a recent poll, ratings for awards shows have actually dropped. So much so that programming executives are calling it “an alarming trend.”

Personally, I think the word “alarming” is a little strong. Continue reading