Tag: journalism

For writers, it isn’t always easy to find The End

image Welcome to Ned’s Nickels Worth on Writing, a weekly feature in which I utilize my 15 years as a columnist to impart writing wisdom that 50 Shades author E.L. James has called “The inspiration for my ‘safe’ word.” Keeping that in mind (…ok, that’s enough), this week’s NWOW is special because, like a good “safe” word, it could keep you from getting spanked too hard when it comes to formulating a strong ending to your story, column, novel, latest post or current relationship.

Before we get started, I’d like to say thanks to Ross Murray at Drinking Tips for Teens and Molly at Mollytopia for suggesting this topic in response to last week’s NWOW, during a series of comments that went something like this: Continue reading For writers, it isn’t always easy to find The End

The mystery of The Box continues. (Just take my word for it)

"Skippy" the wild, blindfolded squirrel in his natural habitat. At least on Tuesday mornings...
“Skippy” the wild, blindfolded squirrel in his natural habitat. At least on Tuesday mornings…
Every Tuesday here at Siuslaw News, I re-enact the climactic scene from Clash of the Titans when, without warning, I suddenly holler: “RELEASE THE SQUIRREL!” And although “Skippy” the wild, blindfolded squirrel is no Kraken, he is just as terrifying to anyone trapped in our newsroom at the time of his release. Not only because I believe he is partially rabid, but also because it means it’s time for The Box: That mysterious collection of unidentified photographs that have remained unclaimed in our newsroom since the 1980s.

Each week, I randomly select a photo by dumping The Box of photographs onto the floor of our newsroom and then releasing “Skippy.” The photo closest to the person who screams first is chosen. Since our debut of The Box four weeks ago, we’ve lost three high school interns and a guy restocking the vending machine. This morning, no one quit or left the building screaming, which tells me I am slowly losing the element of surprise. So this morning I had to settle for the photo “Skippy” decided to chew on while defecating on the chair of a fellow reporter who will begin screaming shortly after she arrives. Continue reading The mystery of The Box continues. (Just take my word for it)

Don’t become your own expendable character; utilize writer survivor skills

image I think we can all agree it’s Friday! For those who can’t agree, you are welcome to think it’s Thursday. But don’t come crying to the rest of us when you show up to an empty office tomorrow dressed in jeans and a casual dress shirt. For the rest of you, today is also the day I dispense my Nickel’s Worth on Writing: a weekly feature on writing that has been recognized by the prestigious trade magazine Publishers Weekly as “…a weekly post…each and every week…”

But you didn’t come here to read gushing accolades!

Over the years, my wife has gotten used to my (admittedly bad) habit of leaning over and whispering “expendable character” whenever I see someone who I know is going to die. I should clarify I only make these predictions while watching movies, and not, as a general rule, at the grocery store, in hospital waiting rooms or at family reunions. That’s because in movies, these types of characters are easy to spot. Continue reading Don’t become your own expendable character; utilize writer survivor skills

Today proves The Box is part of a higher power (or someone was high)

I'm not sure if "Skippy" bites. Actually, I'm not even sure if he's a squirrel. Or a "he."
I’m not sure if “Skippy” bites. Actually, I’m not even sure if he’s a squirrel. Or a “he.”
That scream you just heard, depending on you proximity to our newsroom, can only mean one thing! Ok, possibly two, but I haven’t written in the nude for at least a month. That means today’s scream was the result of releasing a wild, blindfolded squirrel into the newsroom.

Why?

Because it’s time once again to randomly choose a photo from our collection of decades-old unclaimed and unidentified photos in The Box here at Siuslaw News.

Before I reveal this week’s photo, I must admit I was shocked that an image of its importance and religious significance had been sitting in The Box for the last 20 to 30 years. I called The Vatican and was told a special team of trained investigators would be dispatched to verify the authenticity of this photo, just as soon as they were done disproving claims that Sean “Puffy” Combs is a deity. “Given that he is the only one to make these claims, it shouldn’t take long,” said the Vatican representative I spoke with. Continue reading Today proves The Box is part of a higher power (or someone was high)

Regular writing can shape your literary thighs

Bike typewriter copy Friday means it’s time for Ned’s Nickel’s Worth On Writing, a weekly post on writing that Writer’s Digest has called “Valued customer.” and “…Long Overdue on payment.”

After last week’s NWOW, which was an interview I gave at R.G. Dole, a lot of you asked about the answer I gave to the final question:

Is it true you are a consultant for E. L. James?

Because I am under contract, I couldn’t answer that question, which brought us to the final, final question and the one people actually asked about:

What advice would you give to a writer who is just starting out?

In my answer, I said establishing a writing routine is crucial, and gave a brief explanation on why it was so important and how to make it happen. Many of you asked me to elaborate on this.

No one asked about my consulting for 50 Shades.

As it turns out, the third post I ever wrote for my weekly NWOW was about the benefits of creating a writing routine, and how those who don’t should be spanked… Continue reading Regular writing can shape your literary thighs

… This Just In …

image

…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…

[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]

Ok, in what is quite possibly the most irrelevant moment in our newsroom so far this year — which is saying a lot — I thought I would share Halloween photos of some folks who work here at Siuslaw News.

Oddly, I took these photos in September… Continue reading … This Just In …

Excuse me, but I really need to get… The Door

The Door... sentinel of journalistic history and protector of olfactory senses prior to flushing.
The Door… sentinel of journalistic history and protector of olfactory senses prior to flushing.
Do NOT adjust your screen! There is nothing wrong with your computer! Unless, like mine, you’ve actually seen it in a 1980s movie, where it represented the era’s most advanced computer technology as part of a high-tech military defense system that becomes self aware. But assuming you’re looking at a screen smaller than an industrial sized microwave oven, then yes — you really are seeing an image of The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) in our newsroom.

As I mentioned when I closed The Door a few weeks ago, it would be re-opened as the situation warranted. And today, my friends, we have a SITUATION.

For those of you just joining us, or those unfamiliar with The Door for personal reasons, I should explain that it is the most important door in our two-door newsroom. Not just because it leads to the commode, but also because it displays the best and worst examples of print journalism clipped and taped there by reporters at Siuslaw News since the 1970s. We like to think of The Door as the Smithsonian of journalistic history, except with the occasional sound of flushing. As iconic anchorman Dan Rather recently said, “It is unquestionably our most important relic representing modern journalistic history — or my name isn’t, uh… Barbara Walters?” Continue reading Excuse me, but I really need to get… The Door

Giving a good interview means revealing yourself (and other reasons I won’t be in Playgirl)

It’s time once again for Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, a weekly feature in which I utilize my 15 years as a columnist to offer advice that has been heralded by Oprah Winfrey as “possibly someone in our Book Club, I think.” This week’s NWOW is going to be a bit of a departure. Not because Oprah is flying us all to Chicago, but because I had the privilege of being interviewed by A Drip of Truth, a blog about writers and writing, hosted by the talented R.G. Dole. It’s also a departure because, after looking back over this interview, I realized I actually said some things that could be interpreted as helpful…

image 1) What’s your name? Where can we find you? Blog? Twitter? Facebook?

Without question, the introduction part of this interview would be a lot better if I had a really cool name like “Blaze” or “Vin.”

My name is Ned, which doesn’t set an exciting tone.

However, if all goes well, we’ve just passed through the low point of this interview. I’ve been a newspaper humor columnist for 15 years, the last year of which has been in syndication through News Media Corporation. A began blogging a little over a year ago and, after careful consideration and meeting with a team of marketing analysts, titled my blog with the compelling name: Ned’s Blog. I’m also on Twitter and Facebook. To be honest, I’m still not sure why — but I’m told it will help me establish a media empire rivaling our local public access channel… (Read more here)

… This Just In …

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…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…

[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our newsroom…]

Each week, our entire editorial staff — all four of us — gathers for a meeting to discuss what we’ll be reporting on, any upcoming news-worthy events, and individual assignments. After 15 years, my editor has learned to stop asking why I attend these meetings. Case in point: Today’s editorial meeting… Continue reading … This Just In …

Getting to the bottom of another random moment from The Box

After getting the blindfold on Tippy the wild squirrel last week, I've decided it's just easier to leave it on.
After getting the blindfold on Tippy the wild squirrel last week, I’ve decided it’s just easier to leave it on.
RELEASE THE SQUIRREL!
That’s right! It’s Tuesday, which means it’s not only a deadline day here in our newsroom, but also the day I quietly dump the contents of The Box — a collection of unclaimed photos dating back to the 1980s — onto the floor and randomly pick an image with the help of a wild, blindfolded squirrel. The photo closest to the person in the room who screams or gets bitten (quite possibly both) first is chosen! Given that last week was our first edition of this exciting new feature, I still maintained the element of surprise this morning, thanks to my stealthiness and what a fellow journalist called my, “gall to pull the same stunt that sent an intern screaming all the way to her guidance councilor.”

“HEY!” I offered in my defense, then drew a blank.

Which brings us to this week’s randomly selected photo from The Box… Continue reading Getting to the bottom of another random moment from The Box