Tag: musings

Need advice on having a vasectomy? Don’t ask a man

Hammer and eggs There’s a scene in the movie “Jaws” where the Mayor of Amity Island explains how yelling the word “BARRACUDA” won’t get much reaction on a crowded beach. “But if you yell ‘SHARK’ you’ll have a panic on your hands…”

Keeping that in mind, you’ll have some idea of the reaction you get from most men if you change “shark” to “vasectomy.”

This was the first word out of my radio this morning, and yes, it caught my attention immediately. I had mine 10 years ago after weeks of campaigning from my ex-wife, who had a degree in social work. Because of this, she was trained on how to approach sensitive subject matter. That’s why I was allowed to discover, with no pressure from her whatsoever, that my new place mat at the dinner table was actually a medical brochure titled:

So, You Want To Have a Vasectomy?  
Continue reading Need advice on having a vasectomy? Don’t ask a man

Naturally, I’m dressing as Marilyn Monroe to help fight cancer

imageI don’t have good-looking legs.

Not even in heels, which I have worn during the Men’s March Against Domestic Violence, and also the night I turned 21.

Fortunately, in both cases (Well, one for sure) I had pants on, so other than looking like a standard poodle walking on its hind legs for a dog biscuit, everyone was spared from seeing my hairy stork legs.

To be honest, even a stork would probably wear pants if it had my legs.

However, come Aug. 13, I will jeopardize the vision of hundreds of people at the American Cancer Society’s Relay for Life in my home town by dressing as Marilyn Monroe for the “Mr. Relay” fundraiser.

Naturally, I will be wearing heels. And yes, at some point my skirt will be blown upward, revealing a sight that even Miley Cyrus said “Crosses the line of decency.”  Continue reading Naturally, I’m dressing as Marilyn Monroe to help fight cancer

Because she gives me “crazy love”

As I mentioned earlier this week, today I am celebrating the gift of sharing the past eight years with the amazing woman I get to call my wife. We’re keeping a low profile for our anniversary, spending the day in quiet appreciation of each other. However, I wanted to surprise her with this expression of my love, and share with you the many reasons why I treasure her…

Eight years ago tomorrow, I was exactly where I was meant to be

imageEight years ago tomorrow, I stood at the altar, watching as my wife crossed the courtyard toward the church. I remember smiling so much my cheeks hurt; I remember the pride and appreciation I felt knowing I was about to be her husband; and I remember a momentary breeze lifting a strand of hair away from her face, like God’s finger gently brushing it aside as she entered the chapel.

As with any rare occasion when we don’t enter a room together, our eyes found each other immediately. So much was said to each other during that long walk to the altar, not in words, but spoken between our two hearts — in a language we had been fluent in from the moment we met.

Oct. 28, 2006:
My search for a red rose after making the hour-long drive to Salem for our first date had put me behind. Coupled with the fact that I hadn’t been on a real date in nearly 20 years, had lost 23 pounds since my divorce several months earlier, and was driving a Plymouth Voyager mini-van, I technically had four strikes against me already. Plus, after several weeks of chatting together on Match.com and long evening phone calls, she had finally posted her profile picture. When I saw it, I realized I wasn’t only in danger of striking out before our date even started:

Heck, I was batting out of my league. Continue reading Eight years ago tomorrow, I was exactly where I was meant to be

So, I made a (mostly) serious video for peace

As I mentioned yesterday, I had the privilege of opening “Media Day” for #OURWEEKOFPEACE at The Public Blogger with this video about the responsibility that comes with Freedom of the Press. Here’s the 4-minute video in its entirety…

#OURWEEKOFPEACE continues today with “Education,” and wraps up Saturday, Aug. 6, with “Our Day of Peace,” with live exchanges from around the world at The Public Blogger Facebook page and ThePublicBlogger.com. Join the conversation by throwing your own Peace Sign in the air by leaving a comment, poem, photo or image in support of peace around the world and within our nation.

We need some of that right now…

 

 

I hope you’ll join me for some peace today

imageSeveral weeks ago, Kendall F. Person invited me to be a part of his #OURWEEKOFPEACE at The Public Blogger. The idea was to bring artists, musicians, writers, statesmen, poets and others together to discuss and express their thoughts on the meaning of peace in our world.

Each day has a different theme, culminating this Saturday in a public “Shout Out to Peace,” which is an opportunity for everyone around the world to contribute their voice in their own way, be it through their written word, videos, photography, music or simply by sharing in the day.

Today’s theme is “Media,” and I have the privilege of opening it with a video about the importance of journalism in our democracy — a notion underscored by the fact that our forefathers included Freedom of the Press as part of the First Amendment in our Constitution.  Continue reading I hope you’ll join me for some peace today

Answering your painful questions about my softball season

For a few fleeting moments this weekend, I considered re-joining our local community softball team. Then I remembered what happened the last time I played a few years ago, and the trauma it caused. As they say, some wounds never heal.

Especially if you forget to wear an athletic cup.

[Insert gauzy dream sequence here and cue the harp music]…….

imageAs I recently mentioned, I joined a men’s softball team after not participating in anything athletic since (conservative estimate) the golden era of dodgeball in the early ‘70s. In response, I have received letters and emails from readers offering encouragement, support and, in an isolated incident, a lucky athletic cup from someone named “Derek.”

Admittedly, I was curious as to what qualified this particular cup as “lucky.” His response should be a lesson to us all regarding the dangers of continuous baseball usage.

“I used to get hit — there — almost every game,” Derek explained in a note. “Sometimes two or three times. But my [censored] never got hurt.”

Though he didn’t mention it, I suspect Derek also has a “lucky” batting helmet. Continue reading Answering your painful questions about my softball season

Our Dempublican National Convention was sort of overlooked

imageEven though our Dempublican Party Convention was purposely held after the RNC but before the DNC, on Saturday afternoon, between 1:30 and 2:15 p.m., in the seating area of the Fred Meyer deli, it was still somehow overlooked by the media!

Although I’m pretty sure someone was live-streaming us on Facebook with their iPod.

By accident.

As they walked by, grocery shopping with their infant.

Anyway, now that the conventions are over, some of you may still be undecided about who to vote for this November. Or, like a lot of Americans, you feel as though you’re not voting FOR someone as much as you are voting against Trump someone else?

Is THAT what our forefathers had in mind when they took the risk of gathering together in secret to get drunk at Christiana Campbell’s Tavern and write the Declaration of Independence?!?

I don’t think so!

And did our forefathers like bacon? Yes! (If they still had their teeth). So, if YOU like bacon, and THEY liked bacon, then the Dempublican Party is YOUR party because bacon is a huge part of our platform! In fact, we tried to make a speaking platform out of actual bacon but, well…

We ate most of it.  Continue reading Our Dempublican National Convention was sort of overlooked

The women in my life make every moment matter

imageSitting on the edge of the bed this morning, I looked over at my wife’s slowly stirring figure. I watched her stretch beneath the blankets and finish with that little squeal that means it was a good stretch. She yawned, covering her mouth with the back of her hand like she always does. Her eyes focused and she slowly smiled at me.

I smiled back, knowing in that moment I was exactly where I was supposed to be in my life.

Before heading to work, I slipped a note into her lunch:

You make every day better because of loving you.

It made me think of how the women in my life — especially my wife, daughters and mother — are a constant inpiration, and how the gift of their presence is something worth celebrating every day.  Continue reading The women in my life make every moment matter

If you want to live longer, you’ll need to do so standing up

imageYou may want to stand up before reading this. That’s because, according to a recent study published in the Annals of Internal Medicine, (trust me, I double checked the spelling on that) sitting actually increases your chances of premature death.

And no, I’m not talking about accidentally sitting on a rattlesnake or Christian Bale’s car hood. I’m talking about the normal, everyday kind of sitting we all do — at work, in the car, at the end of a long day, while playing basketball — that a group of Toronto researchers says increases our chance of health “issues” that can lead to death.

I’m no doctor, but even I know death is a pretty serious health issue.  Continue reading If you want to live longer, you’ll need to do so standing up