To everyone who left comments inquiring as to my whereabouts, I appreciate your concern and am comforted to know, should I ever come up missing, it will not go unnoticed by my wordpress friends. At least, not until Sunday.
Seriously, thanks for asking 😉
It’s Friday, and as we all know (and by “we” I mean the voices in my head) it’s time for Ned’s Nickel’s Worth on Writing, a weekly feature heralded as “Essential writing advice for anyone who wants to be taken seriously as a highway flagger.” Several months ago, in my continuing saga at Gliterary Girl on the hazards rewards advantages realities of being a writer, I talked about the importance of establishing a writing routine. This seemed like a good time to revisit that post because, in addition to still being knee-deep in manuscript revisions, I have finally begun to come down off of yesterday’s caffeine high, which has left me shaking like the only lamb at a coyote picnic.
So keep your pocket change this week; today’s Nickel’s Worth is on me! Continue reading Like exercise, regular writing can shape your (literary) thighs
I laughed. “Of course I do. I’m blinking right now.”
“Um, no. You’re not. Seriously — can you blink?”
The problem began last night, when I stayed up until midnight working on the final draft, then was up again this morning at 5 a.m. for a walk with my wife. We drank coffee together at a small diner along the way, then came home to more coffee. Then another cup during my Thursday morning visit with my Mom — followed by a trip to the drive-thru at Dutch Bros for a large Carmelizer before arriving at the library. Continue reading I’ve never, ever had too much coffee. Until now.
Just to prove that I am actually at the library working on the final draft of my manuscript, and not sitting at the Beachcomber with a bottle of Dos Eques and a basket of hot wings, this is my current view from across the small table I am now sharing.
For some reason, I’m really craving some chicken fingers right now…
Our local library.
If you’re looking for me, I’ll be the one hunched over my ipad in a cubical near the “Periodicals” section, working on the final draft of my book, Humor at the Speed of Life, which is due Aug. 16. I realize my deadline is a whole month away. I also realize I am easily distracted, which is why I chose to put myself in a cubical, away from television, snacks, my beautiful wife and reliable wi-fi service. However, I don’t plan to be a total slacker. I will still be posting this week’s entry for The Door tomorrow, as well as Flashback Sunday on… uh, Sunday.
If you happen to be in the neighborhood of the Siuslaw Public Library, stop in and say “Hi!” But not too loudly; the librarian carries a taser — and she has really good aim. If I’m laying facedown, it’s only because I’m concentrating really hard.
Or I’ve been tased.
Either way, I’ll be glad to see you.
Fifty Shades of Time-Traveling Vampire Love, is going live on self-publishing sites everywhere tomorrow. As one agent at Random Day said, “this book has caused a buzz in the publishing world louder than a circling fly…”)
As I mentioned in my first interview, Ima Knowitall is the author of more than 40 online novels this past year, and was recently honored by the Society of Illiterate Columnists (SIC) for her contributions to “…the advancement of people who write without the shackles of proper grammar.” So landing an interview with an author of this caliber on the eve of her latest release was — as Ima described something she found in her taco — a total surprise.
For those of you who might’ve missed the first part of my interview with Ima because, for example, you just recently gave up life as a Quaker, I should explain that our breakfast interview had been interrupted by the untimely arrival of the health department while waiting for a taco omelette at Sam N’ Ella’s restaurant. Since there was no time to get anything to-go because Sam and Ella had already left through the back window, we had decided to take our interview somewhere else. Continue reading Part two: My interview with self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall
In the meantime, for those of you who may be new to The Door because, for example, you stumbled onto this post looking for home improvement tips, I’ll tell you it is a weekly feature that spotlights the best and worst in journalism that reporters here at Siuslaw News have been clipping and gluing to our newsroom door since the 1970s, back when journalists were looking for any excuse to open a tube of glue. Each Tuesday, we spotlight an entry from our newsroom door which, in addition to being the equivalent to a journalistic Smithsonian here on the Oregon coast, is also a time capsule of sorts, sealing up a different kind of journalistic history once the commode is flushed on the other side. Continue reading This post proves even God likes to use… The Door
…TAT-tat-tat-TAT-TAT-tat-tat-TAT…
[Breaking News: from another strangely irrelevant moment in our news room…]
Walking into my editor’s office, I stare at the newly-refurbished computer monitor on her desk, complete with “Good working condition certification” sticker.
Me: Wow, It looks like something from Star Trek.
Editor: Have you seen “Into Darkness?”
Me: I’m talking about the TV show. I think this was part of Sulu’s console. Wait, is that a tribble?
Editor: Get out before I set this stapler for “stun.”
This week, however, I’m asking you to hold on to your nickels. Not just because the postmaster here is getting annoyed sorting postcards with a nickel’s worth of change taped to them; and not just because the second part of my follow-up interview with self-proclaimed best-selling author Ima Knowitall was delayed by food poisoning while eating at The Enfermo Taco; and not just because the holiday put me so far behind here in the newsroom that I may need to call a proctologist to get me out. Continue reading Why this week’s ‘Nickel’s Worth on Writing’ isn’t worth a dime
I told her I was a big fan and extremely flattered but, “No.”
To which she replied, “DWOP DEAD!” and hung up.
So what is The Door (of Shame, Blame and Brilliance) exactly? Quite literally, it is a living, breathing piece of journalistic history assembled over 40 years by reporters here at Siuslaw News. That said, it’s no mere coincidence that the other side of The Door leads to the commode, where those same reporters have been depositing a different kind of history — and where, in a fitting twist, nothing living can breathe.
Today, we have a new first on The Door: a two-part clipping, meaning that whoever put this piece together has earned the coveted “Twin Globes of Shame” award, which is named in part because of its rare “two-shames-in-one” distinction, and partly because the trophy once belonged to a failed cosmetic surgeon. Continue reading Every good journalist wants to be shown… The Door
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